1 00:00:00,571 --> 00:00:03,658 The verse that comes to my mind here 2 00:00:03,658 --> 00:00:05,674 as I was thinking about what I might share 3 00:00:05,674 --> 00:00:06,878 in a practical way, 4 00:00:06,878 --> 00:00:09,142 with not only the two couples, 5 00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:12,942 but everyone else here that's married, 6 00:00:12,942 --> 00:00:17,647 is taken from Ecclesiastes 3:7. 7 00:00:17,647 --> 00:00:20,284 It says, "There is a time to be silent, 8 00:00:20,284 --> 00:00:23,232 and a time to speak." 9 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:27,095 And I'm thinking of this in the realm 10 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:30,715 of the necessity for communication. 11 00:00:30,715 --> 00:00:32,660 There's a time to be silent, 12 00:00:32,660 --> 00:00:34,850 and then in my application here, 13 00:00:34,850 --> 00:00:39,975 that silence is the silence of listening. 14 00:00:39,975 --> 00:00:42,396 Listening skills. 15 00:00:42,396 --> 00:00:44,148 And there's a time to speak 16 00:00:44,148 --> 00:00:49,163 which would be the communicative skills. 17 00:00:49,163 --> 00:00:50,791 There's a time for both of those 18 00:00:50,791 --> 00:00:53,562 in the necessity of communication. 19 00:00:53,562 --> 00:00:56,527 And in the Bible, the word "speak" 20 00:00:56,527 --> 00:01:01,342 is used 454 times. 21 00:01:01,342 --> 00:01:03,776 So that's a lot of communication 22 00:01:03,776 --> 00:01:06,997 advocated in the Bible. 23 00:01:06,997 --> 00:01:11,411 And in the realm of a living, vital, 24 00:01:11,411 --> 00:01:13,404 working marriage, 25 00:01:13,404 --> 00:01:18,069 communication is so important. 26 00:01:18,069 --> 00:01:23,468 You know, we can fall to silence - 27 00:01:23,468 --> 00:01:26,043 maybe as a defensive mechanism. 28 00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:27,962 We withdraw. 29 00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:30,863 But silence just builds walls, doesn't it? 30 00:01:30,863 --> 00:01:33,350 We've used those terms before, surely - 31 00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:36,284 a wall of silence? 32 00:01:36,284 --> 00:01:39,043 We don't want that. 33 00:01:39,043 --> 00:01:44,842 Sometimes silence can be simply self-centered. 34 00:01:44,842 --> 00:01:46,249 It's about me. 35 00:01:46,249 --> 00:01:51,288 And I withdraw at other times. 36 00:01:51,288 --> 00:01:56,409 It can be defensive. 37 00:01:56,409 --> 00:02:00,887 Oh, just pulling back as a mechanism 38 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:04,164 to defend myself in silence. 39 00:02:04,164 --> 00:02:06,884 Other times, it can actually be 40 00:02:06,884 --> 00:02:08,796 an offensive weapon. 41 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,814 You know, the cold shoulder of silence. 42 00:02:11,814 --> 00:02:16,543 But when we need to speak, 43 00:02:16,543 --> 00:02:18,359 there's a positive duty 44 00:02:18,359 --> 00:02:20,898 to talk things out. 45 00:02:20,898 --> 00:02:23,411 You've got problems that need to be addressed. 46 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:24,734 You've got to listen. 47 00:02:24,734 --> 00:02:26,582 You've got to speak. 48 00:02:26,582 --> 00:02:28,691 You've got decisions that need to be made. 49 00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:29,862 You've got to listen. 50 00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:32,259 You've got to speak. 51 00:02:32,259 --> 00:02:37,466 You need to express needs and desires. 52 00:02:37,466 --> 00:02:40,113 You've got to communicate that. 53 00:02:40,113 --> 00:02:44,483 And yes, sometimes, dissatisfaction's, right? 54 00:02:44,483 --> 00:02:49,014 You've got to know when to be silent and listen, 55 00:02:49,014 --> 00:02:50,561 as well as when to speak, 56 00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,910 because no one's telepathic. 57 00:02:52,910 --> 00:02:54,248 We can't read minds. 58 00:02:54,248 --> 00:02:56,949 Sometimes, I think my wife is almost there, 59 00:02:56,949 --> 00:03:00,251 where she can, 60 00:03:00,251 --> 00:03:01,591 but the reality is, 61 00:03:01,591 --> 00:03:03,266 we can't read each other's minds. 62 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,394 We've got to communicate, right? 63 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:10,146 And so that's the thought on my mind 64 00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:12,424 here this morning. 65 00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:14,438 There's a time to be silent, 66 00:03:14,438 --> 00:03:16,538 and there's a time to speak. 67 00:03:16,538 --> 00:03:19,177 And so from this day forward, 68 00:03:19,177 --> 00:03:20,744 going forward from here, 69 00:03:20,744 --> 00:03:23,449 you guys have got to get together and talk. 70 00:03:23,449 --> 00:03:26,209 Talk about things. 71 00:03:26,209 --> 00:03:30,352 It's so vital. 72 00:03:30,352 --> 00:03:31,503 Think about this. 73 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:35,571 It's worthwhile to note. 74 00:03:35,571 --> 00:03:38,376 With the Tower of Babel, 75 00:03:38,376 --> 00:03:44,347 all God did was break down their communication. 76 00:03:44,347 --> 00:03:46,189 That was all He had to do. 77 00:03:46,189 --> 00:03:48,336 He changed language, 78 00:03:48,336 --> 00:03:50,227 and so now, they're no longer 79 00:03:50,227 --> 00:03:52,146 able to communicate. 80 00:03:52,146 --> 00:03:54,569 And whenever you're not able to communicate, 81 00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:56,110 then anything constructive 82 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:59,017 goes out the window. 83 00:03:59,017 --> 00:04:00,917 So, a time to be silent 84 00:04:00,917 --> 00:04:03,425 and a time to speak.