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(from the room)

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I have a question.

3
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So, let's say you're single

4
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and that's been a struggle for you

5
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and suddenly the Lord's 
brought you out of it.

6
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Then, the Lord brings you a spouse.

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Before you get married,

8
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is that something you 
should be up front with

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and say that had been a struggle with you

10
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before going into the marriage

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so your wife can maybe 
be more understanding?

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Tim: Well, I think in the church,

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I would say this.

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I would say that if you're a father,

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you should be putting the question

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to any young man that wants 
to marry your daughter.

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If you are a young lady,

18
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if you're not going to 
put the question to them,

19
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you should have your pastors 
put the question to them

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or your dad put the question to them.

21
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Yes. Why?

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Because you have characteristics

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like the Proverbs 31 woman.

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You have characteristics of a godly woman.

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Guys, that's there on purpose.

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So that you can look at it

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and try to find a woman that's like that.

28
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Same thing.

29
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You have qualities of godly young men

30
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displayed to you ladies in Scripture.

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What kind of husband do you want?

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Do you want one that bears resemblance?

33
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Then you need to be getting 
to know one another.

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I recently heard Paul Washer do a message.

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He did a message based 
on 1 Thessalonians 4 -

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sanctification, specifically 
concerning sexual purity.

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And he made the statement that

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if you are failing with sexual purity,

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you're not even at the first rung

40
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of spiritual maturity.

41
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And so here's the thing,

42
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what I would want to see is

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is God doing something

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in the life of that young man

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where there is a marked victory?

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I'm not looking for perfection.

47
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Look, when God saves a young man -

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young women too -

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the battle for sexual purity,

50
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it can be savage.

51
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It can be incredibly intense battle

52
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with the desires of 
the flesh in that area.

53
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But what I'd be looking for is this:

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is there evidence that the Spirit of God

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is real in that guy's life

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and that there is some kind of progress,

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there is some kind of victory

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that they are getting to the place

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where they're going weeks and months

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and years without failure.

61
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Because if there are 
constant regular falls,

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I am absolutely convinced

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you cannot live that way -

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you can't live that way for too long

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and be a genuine Christian.

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But you cannot live that way

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and think that the Spirit is 
not going to be grieved.

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And it says something about

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where a man's character is at,

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and so I think those 
questions need to be asked.

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And what's happening more and more

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is I am asking young men very pointedly -

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like I want to know space between falls.

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I want to know the details

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because I want to see what God does

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in men's lives.

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And I think in this very area

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it's a tell-tale sign.

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And if somebody's just living

80
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in fairly perpetual failure,

81
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no way are they going to 
marry one of my daughters.

82
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And as a pastor in the church,

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I would tell a woman,

84
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if there is not some 
indication of victory here,

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stay away from him.

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You do not want to go there.

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(incomplete thought)

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Yes, I think there needs 
to be transparency

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at this point.

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Now look, I think too, if we're faithful

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(incomplete thought).

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I mean, just today,

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I was reading 1 Corinthians,

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and I got all the way to like chapter 10.

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So I read 1 Corinthians 7 today.

96
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And you know, there is a place -

97
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obviously, there is a place

98
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for somebody to get married

99
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for the sake of sexual temptation.

100
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I mean, I would say this,

101
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as a young man,

102
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you need to strive for purity.

103
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If the battle is intense, get married.

104
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But look, if you're a Christian,

105
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by the Spirit, strive to put to death

106
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the deeds of the body

107
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and get married.

108
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That seems to be very biblical.

109
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Rather, it's better to marry than to burn.

110
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And I think finding a 
wife is a good thing,

111
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but you need to be 
the caliber of young man

112
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that a godly young lady is 
going to want to marry,

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because if your life is sloppy 
and full of failure and defeat,

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you shouldn't expect that you're ready

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to get married.

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You shouldn't.

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That is not putting too high a standard

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to expect that you're striving

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to walk before the Lord

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and that there is evidence of victory

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in the life.