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Psalm 105:5 says,

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"Remember His wonders which He has done."

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So it is a good thing for us to remember

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and to think about what God has done

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in our life.

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I grew up in a home

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where my family took me to church

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basically every time the doors were open.

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So the reality of God was in my life

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from infancy upward.

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There was never really a time in my life

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where my parents didn't 
make me go to church.

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Through that time,

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there was conviction of sin.

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There were times especially when

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revivalists would come through,

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and I would have an emotional experience.

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And I would realize the reality of hell.

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Realize where I was at.

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So I would walk an aisle,

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pray a prayer,

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and make a decision

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that never seemed to really last.

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People make jokes about this,

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but I actually believe that at my house

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in Alabama, there are at least

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two Bibles where I have,

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"I, Mason Vann, was saved..."

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and the date.

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And signed it, so I wouldn't doubt it.

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So that's a reality.

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That's not just a joke that people make.

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I have at least a couple of those.

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So that's kind of the realm

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in which I grew up.

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And I can remember the final time

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in that period of my life

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that I came under conviction.

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A revivalist had come through,

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and made a very emotional appeal,

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and yet God was dealing with me

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on a certain level.

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So that thought came over me

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that I am not right with God.

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And I need to be right with God.

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And that every 
profession that I'd made

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up until now was not real

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and I needed something that was real.

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So I went forward once again.

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And this time, I decided,

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this time is going to be real.

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I am really going to make an effort

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this time to be a Christian.

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So, I think I printed it again

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in the back of my Bible

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that I was saved on this date.

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So I started diligently trying

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to read my Bible.

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One of the times before that,

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I had come under such 
intense conviction of sin,

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that I went downstairs in the basement

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and went into a corner

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and I sobbed for hours.

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As a matter of fact,

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my father came down there

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and asked me 
what was going on.

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So that's kind of the reality

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of the level of 
conviction that I was under.

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But this time,

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it was going to be different.

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So I set to reading the Bible

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and to praying the best that I could.

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Every night I would light a candle,

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turn off all my lights,

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and light a candle by my bed,

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so that I would read 
my Bible by candlelight,

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because that felt more spiritual.

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That's a funny thing,

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but it really helps us to realize

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what's going on with a lot of things

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like Catholicism,

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and people that use lighting

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and soft music and things like that.

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My life was propped up on

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things like reading 
my Bible by candlelight.

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It gave me the feeling that this was real.

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But as soon as the candle went out,

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there went my spiritual life also.

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Well, this began to fade.

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And this is about 12 or 13,

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and I was very much into baseball,

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sports and athletics and things like that.

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My father is actually in the Hall of Fame

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in a college in Alabama.

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So he was really 
pushing sports and things.

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So I was heavily involved in these things,

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and began to run around in these circles

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with people that were into sports.

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And we as a crowd began to move away from

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all that we had grown up under.

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And we began to get into things

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that we knew that we should not be doing.

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And so, I kind of, in my mind,

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walked away from the whole church scene.

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Even though I was still going to church,

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and things like that,

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I knew that I wasn't real.

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But I kept going to church

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because I was trying to 
ease my conscience.

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Well, about 14 and a half,

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this conviction came back.

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And it came back this time

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with such reality,

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such an unshakeable

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hold on my life,

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I could not do anything

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to get away from it.

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During that time,

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most people's perception of me

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was that I was a tough guy.

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I was a guy who had very little emotion.

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I had a very quick temper.

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So most people thought of me,

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probably, as a person who would never

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show any kind of sorrow or remorse

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or anything like that.

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Well, little did they know,

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that every night when 
I came home from their parties,

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and I came home from 
hanging out with them,

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that I would cry my eyes out

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for about one to two hours each night,

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under the reality that

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I am not right with God.

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My profession of faith is worthless.

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Those Bibles with the date in them

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are worthless.

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Despite everything else around me,

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I am not right with Christ.

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And if I go tonight,

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I will die under the wrath of God.

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So, every night it was 
basically the same routine.

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I would cry myself to sleep.

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And right before 
I would go to sleep,

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I would pray the 
sinner's prayer again,

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because that's what I 
was taught growing up.

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That's how you became a Christian.

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You prayed the sinner's prayer.

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And so this continued for about two years

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that I was in this state of reality

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and such intense conviction.

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Well, my temper ended up

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getting me in trouble.

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And without going into 
too many gory details,

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I got into a fight with a guy

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from a neighboring city.

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All my friends were supposed

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to come to this fight,

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and I was clearly smaller than this guy,

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and so the plan was that 
I basically start the fight

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and then you guys come and help me.

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Well, that is not how the plan worked out.

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God was pursuing me.

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And God providentially, looking back now,

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as a Christian I can see,

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God was closing in on me

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at this point in my life.

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And so, needless to say,

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I lose this fight.

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And I am running for my life.

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Literally, I am running for my life.

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And for two weeks,

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I'm hiding out from everyone.

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And all these people are looking for me.

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Well, providentially, the youth group

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at the church I went to

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was going to South Carolina.

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The year before, I had went with my friend

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to South Carolina.

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We met some people up there.

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So I thought, I have to get out of town.

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So what I'll do,

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I'll catch the bus up there.

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And my friend and I will 
hang out with these people,

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and when the youth 
group comes back,

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we'll catch a ride on the way back.

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So that was the plan.

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So you should have seen the shock

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on the youth group's face, when I,

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the pagan of the school,

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show up on the church bus,

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going to South Carolina.

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I mean, these people were dumbfounded.

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A dear brother at the time,

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who had some discernment.

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He began to pray for me.

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He was the youth leader at that time.

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And he began to pray for me.

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He knew that I was just

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in a world of mess.

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So, we go up there.

201
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And throughout this time,

202
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and especially through those two weeks,

203
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I had been able to, so much of my life,

204
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drown out the voice of God.

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See, I hated when I 
had to lay my head down

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on a pillow.

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Because then the voice of God

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would come rushing back.

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So if I wasn't listening to music,

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I was at a party.

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If I wasn't at a party, 
I was talking to a friend.

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If I wasn't talking to a friend,

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I was doing something.

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I would do absolutely anything

215
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to avoid silence.

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Because when silence came,

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the voice of God came back

218
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rushing into my life saying,

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"You're not right with God."

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"You know you need to be converted."

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So, this whole thing with this fight,

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and my support system for

223
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drowning out the voice of God

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with my friends,

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all came crumbling down,

226
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and here I find myself on a trip

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to South Carolina.

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During that time in South Carolina,

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I don't really have 
any recollection that

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I was making another decision

231
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that I was going to follow Christ.

232
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I did not go up there with the mindset

233
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that I'm really in trouble

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and I need to make another decision.

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I had already seen enough at that point

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to know that it was 
going to take more than

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me just praying another prayer

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for something real to happen.

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And so, the first two 
days were pretty normal.

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I don't even really 
remember much about them.

241
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About the only thing that I remember

242
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is the very last night before we were

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to leave and go back the next day.

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It seemed to be a really emotional time.

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And I can remember a little bit that day

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of thinking about some of these things

247
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about I'm not right with God,

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I need to be right with God,

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but I feel absolutely powerless.

250
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And so during that night,

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like I said, typical emotional time,

252
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everyone bowed their heads.

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So, out of courtesy, I bowed my head.

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And I do remember thinking

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when I bowed my head,

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I need something real.

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I can't explain what happened.

258
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But somewhere between the time

259
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of bowing my head

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and when I looked up

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and opened my eyes again,

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the only thing that I could see

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was the glory of God 
in the face of Christ.

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All of a sudden,

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the wilderness had become a pool.

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And the love of God came

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rushing into my life.

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It overwhelmed me.

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I could not be helped.

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The youth leaders didn't know what to do.

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Because I was crying my eyes out.

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I had such an overwhelming sense

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that I'm free.

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I am free.

275
00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:02,938
This whole thing.

276
00:10:02,938 --> 00:10:04,203
This whole burden of sin.

277
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,338
Two years of the wrath of God

278
00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:08,026
closing down on me.

279
00:10:08,026 --> 00:10:10,741
All of my sins are gone.

280
00:10:10,741 --> 00:10:13,133
And Christ is no longer this

281
00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:15,630
religious figure that's way back there

282
00:10:15,630 --> 00:10:17,096
2,000 years ago

283
00:10:17,096 --> 00:10:19,005
carrying lambs around 
on His shoulders.

284
00:10:19,005 --> 00:10:19,985
All of a sudden,

285
00:10:19,985 --> 00:10:22,265
He is the risen Son of God,

286
00:10:22,265 --> 00:10:23,553
and I love Him.

287
00:10:23,553 --> 00:10:24,785
And I want to follow Him.

288
00:10:24,785 --> 00:10:26,334
I don't ever want to sin again.

289
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,143
I don't ever want to do anything

290
00:10:28,143 --> 00:10:31,195
that would offend 
love that is this precious.

291
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:34,582
And so that was that night.

292
00:10:34,582 --> 00:10:38,281
They wisely sent me back to my room

293
00:10:38,281 --> 00:10:42,070
and said you need to pray.

294
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,569
I misunderstood that.

295
00:10:43,569 --> 00:10:45,655
Because I had grown 
up under the mentality

296
00:10:45,655 --> 00:10:48,453
that you had to pray 
and ask Christ into your heart.

297
00:10:48,453 --> 00:10:51,001
And so I go back to my hotel room

298
00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:53,206
once I can kind of compose myself some.

299
00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:55,623
And I began to try to 
pray the sinner's prayer.

300
00:10:55,623 --> 00:10:58,416
But I was much like the prodigal son

301
00:10:58,416 --> 00:11:01,879
when he returned to his father.

302
00:11:01,879 --> 00:11:03,768
You know, on the 
way returning back,

303
00:11:03,768 --> 00:11:05,482
he had rehearsed this speech

304
00:11:05,482 --> 00:11:07,075
that he was going to give

305
00:11:07,075 --> 00:11:09,218
to his father when he got back.

306
00:11:09,218 --> 00:11:11,183
And basically what happens is,

307
00:11:11,183 --> 00:11:12,922
when the prodigal 
actually shows up,

308
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,302
the father cuts him off 
halfway through the speech

309
00:11:15,302 --> 00:11:17,167
and says I don't 
want to hear all that

310
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,377
you can do for me.

311
00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:20,132
I'm glad you're home.

312
00:11:20,132 --> 00:11:21,720
And so that's the way I felt like

313
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,296
praying the sinner's prayer.

314
00:11:23,296 --> 00:11:25,386
It's like I'm asking Christ 
to come into my heart

315
00:11:25,386 --> 00:11:26,265
and He's saying,

316
00:11:26,265 --> 00:11:28,264
You don't have to... I'm here.

317
00:11:28,264 --> 00:11:29,160
I'm here.

318
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,650
I'm a living reality.

319
00:11:30,650 --> 00:11:32,530
Your sins are done.

320
00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:33,791
Your sins are done.

321
00:11:33,791 --> 00:11:37,332
And so there was joy unspeakable.

322
00:11:37,332 --> 00:11:40,066
And my life was totally different.

323
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,320
I made a phone call.

324
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,005
I believe it was that night
or the next day,

325
00:11:43,005 --> 00:11:44,607
to all the people that I'd 
gotten into a fight with

326
00:11:44,607 --> 00:11:47,167
and said I don't care what 
you do when I get back home,

327
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:49,822
I have become a Christian now.

328
00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:53,592
Which, what do you say to that?

329
00:11:53,592 --> 00:11:56,306
But I want to say something

330
00:11:56,306 --> 00:11:57,452
about this whole thing

331
00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:59,429
because there was joy unspeakable.

332
00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:01,139
And there was so much happiness.

333
00:12:01,139 --> 00:12:03,979
but I went through several months,

334
00:12:03,979 --> 00:12:05,668
maybe even a couple of years

335
00:12:05,668 --> 00:12:06,977
of darkness in a way

336
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:10,484
over this whole issue 
of the sinner's prayer.

337
00:12:10,484 --> 00:12:14,085
You can hear guys preaching against that,

338
00:12:14,085 --> 00:12:15,810
and you can think,

339
00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:17,543
maybe you're overemphasizing this

340
00:12:17,543 --> 00:12:18,870
a little too much.

341
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:21,710
Maybe you need to back off a little bit.

342
00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:23,712
Well, that hurts people.

343
00:12:23,712 --> 00:12:25,916
Bad doctrine hurts people.

344
00:12:25,916 --> 00:12:27,016
And it hurt me.

345
00:12:27,016 --> 00:12:29,017
And here's the way that it hurt me.

346
00:12:29,017 --> 00:12:31,269
For months and like I said,

347
00:12:31,269 --> 00:12:32,610
maybe even a couple of years

348
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,211
after I was saved,

349
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:36,764
I left almost every meeting I was in

350
00:12:36,764 --> 00:12:38,420
about halfway through the meeting

351
00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:41,293
and went to a Sunday school room

352
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,347
and would pray the sinner's prayer.

353
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,480
Because I thought,

354
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,806
Lord, You're so real to me,

355
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,338
but I cannot be saved

356
00:12:47,338 --> 00:12:49,445
because I was taught that the way

357
00:12:49,445 --> 00:12:50,946
that you become a Christian is

358
00:12:50,946 --> 00:12:53,678
you pray, ask Christ into your heart,

359
00:12:53,678 --> 00:12:54,931
and then God saves you.

360
00:12:54,931 --> 00:12:57,052
Well, none of that happened.

361
00:12:57,052 --> 00:12:58,470
All that happened to me was

362
00:12:58,470 --> 00:13:00,988
I bowed my head and at some point

363
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:04,512
God shown the light of the knowledge

364
00:13:04,512 --> 00:13:06,495
of the glory of God in the face of Christ

365
00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:07,376
into my heart,

366
00:13:07,376 --> 00:13:09,418
and I was converted.

367
00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:12,220
And that's basically the 
way that it happened.

368
00:13:12,220 --> 00:13:13,437
And so, like I said,

369
00:13:13,437 --> 00:13:15,998
this went on for a couple of years.

370
00:13:15,998 --> 00:13:20,557
And what brought me out of all of that,

371
00:13:20,557 --> 00:13:22,420
was someone gave me a tape

372
00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:23,635
by Paul Washer.

373
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,279
And this was back before the days

374
00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:27,127
when everyone knew Paul Washer.

375
00:13:27,127 --> 00:13:28,502
And it was a tape of Paul

376
00:13:28,502 --> 00:13:30,936
preaching on Hosea 4:6

377
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:31,776
where it says,

378
00:13:31,776 --> 00:13:35,880
"My people are destroyed 
for a lack of knowledge."

379
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,223
And somewhere in the midst of that sermon,

380
00:13:39,223 --> 00:13:44,463
he mentioned Jeremiah 17:9 where it says,

381
00:13:44,463 --> 00:13:46,258
"The heart is desparately wicked

382
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:48,011
and deceitful above all things,

383
00:13:48,011 --> 00:13:49,794
who can know it?"

384
00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:53,224
God made that verse real.

385
00:13:53,224 --> 00:13:54,700
God brought that home to me.

386
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,992
I didn't hear anything 
else he said after that.

387
00:13:56,992 --> 00:13:58,655
Because I realized,

388
00:13:58,655 --> 00:14:01,773
God began to unpack that verse in my life.

389
00:14:01,773 --> 00:14:03,159
And He began showing me,

390
00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:06,070
if my heart was desparately wicked

391
00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:07,618
and deceitful above all things,

392
00:14:07,618 --> 00:14:10,386
and myself - I can't even know it?

393
00:14:10,386 --> 00:14:14,354
There was no way I 
was going to save myself.

394
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,721
So all of a sudden,

395
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:17,410
these verses started becoming real.

396
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:19,185
Matthew 1:21,

397
00:14:19,185 --> 00:14:20,673
"You shall call His name Jesus,

398
00:14:20,673 --> 00:14:22,457
and He will save His people

399
00:14:22,457 --> 00:14:23,842
from their sins."

400
00:14:23,842 --> 00:14:26,192
I realized what happened that night.

401
00:14:26,192 --> 00:14:28,448
I didn't save myself.

402
00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:30,878
God saved me.

403
00:14:30,878 --> 00:14:32,357
We're not saved by deeds

404
00:14:32,357 --> 00:14:33,874
done in righteousness,

405
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,495
but by His mercy.

406
00:14:35,495 --> 00:14:37,076
And so what happened that night,

407
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:39,428
is that God in His mercy

408
00:14:39,428 --> 00:14:43,173
opened my eyes to see 
the preciousness of Christ.

409
00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:46,461
And that vision so raptured my heart

410
00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:47,992
that I wanted to follow Christ

411
00:14:47,992 --> 00:14:50,673
all of the days of my life.

412
00:14:50,673 --> 00:14:56,102
And so that's what the 
Lord has done for me.

413
00:14:56,102 --> 00:15:00,068
Amen.