1 00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:11,599 This is from Haley. 2 00:00:11,599 --> 00:00:13,297 "I'm 16 and have been saved 3 00:00:13,297 --> 00:00:16,297 for about two years. 4 00:00:16,297 --> 00:00:18,410 I live with my dad who is also saved. 5 00:00:18,410 --> 00:00:20,866 My mom is a professing Christian, 6 00:00:20,866 --> 00:00:23,240 but has made it very obvious she is not. 7 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,667 She lives with her boyfriend, 8 00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:26,657 uses the Lord's name in vain frequently... 9 00:00:26,657 --> 00:00:29,351 I've written her and witnessed to her countless times. 10 00:00:29,351 --> 00:00:32,269 My question is, in the Bible, the Lord says, 11 00:00:32,269 --> 00:00:35,735 "do not even eat" with someone 12 00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:39,073 who claims Christ but is immoral. 13 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:42,158 Does this mean I cannot have a relationship with my mom? 14 00:00:42,158 --> 00:00:44,769 Thank you for your time, Haley." 15 00:00:44,769 --> 00:00:46,499 I'll tell you what. 16 00:00:46,499 --> 00:00:50,345 Do you know where she gets that from? 17 00:00:50,345 --> 00:00:54,605 1 Corinthians? 18 00:00:54,605 --> 00:00:56,445 Somebody know where that is? 19 00:00:56,445 --> 00:00:58,495 Where it says not to associate with 20 00:00:58,495 --> 00:01:00,357 anybody that calls himself a brother, 21 00:01:00,357 --> 00:01:02,169 anybody who's a professing Christian? 22 00:01:02,169 --> 00:01:06,036 1 Corinthians 5. Let's read it. 23 00:01:06,036 --> 00:01:08,403 Turn there if you have your Bible. 24 00:01:08,403 --> 00:01:10,787 1 Corinthians 5:9-11. 25 00:01:10,787 --> 00:01:14,297 I just want you to see the flavor of this. 26 00:01:14,297 --> 00:01:17,306 Now let me tell you something. 27 00:01:17,306 --> 00:01:20,783 Young people, pay attention to this, 28 00:01:20,783 --> 00:01:24,127 even though Haley is dealing with this 29 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,067 with regards to her mom, 30 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,708 this is something 31 00:01:27,708 --> 00:01:30,528 especially you guys that are coming out of other churches 32 00:01:30,528 --> 00:01:32,379 and still have friends in other churches 33 00:01:32,379 --> 00:01:34,540 and you have family members that claim 34 00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:37,272 to be Christians and all sorts of things like this. 35 00:01:37,272 --> 00:01:39,202 There's a lot of application here. 36 00:01:39,202 --> 00:01:41,925 In fact, more so than I think sometimes we 37 00:01:41,925 --> 00:01:44,544 acknowledge in our day. 38 00:01:44,544 --> 00:01:47,024 1 Corinthians 5:9 39 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,688 "I wrote to you in my letter 40 00:01:48,688 --> 00:01:53,393 not to associate with sexually immoral people. 41 00:01:53,393 --> 00:01:57,118 Not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world." 42 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,583 Do you see? Paul wants us to be evangelistic. 43 00:01:59,583 --> 00:02:02,831 Does he want us rubbing shoulders with red-blooded sinners? 44 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,881 You better believe he does. 45 00:02:04,881 --> 00:02:09,301 He's not saying, "come away from all 46 00:02:09,301 --> 00:02:13,683 the sexually immoral people in the world." 47 00:02:13,683 --> 00:02:15,880 "Or the greedy or the swindlers or the idolaters, 48 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,842 since then you would need to go out of the world." 49 00:02:17,842 --> 00:02:18,929 And that's not what he wants. 50 00:02:18,929 --> 00:02:22,984 Christ said you're the salt, you're the light. 51 00:02:22,984 --> 00:02:24,544 We need to be in the world; 52 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,068 we need to be out there in the world. 53 00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:28,725 We need to be salt and light in this world. 54 00:02:28,725 --> 00:02:30,690 We need to shine in the darkness. 55 00:02:30,690 --> 00:02:33,541 We need to be salt in a decaying and a foul 56 00:02:33,541 --> 00:02:37,079 and a corrupt generation in which we live. 57 00:02:37,079 --> 00:02:38,390 Verse 11 58 00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:42,200 "But now I'm writing to you not to associate 59 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,565 with anyone who bears the name of brother, 60 00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:48,013 if he's guilty of sexual immorality or greed 61 00:02:48,013 --> 00:02:50,657 or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, swindler - 62 00:02:50,657 --> 00:02:52,379 not even to eat with such a one." 63 00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:53,635 Let me tell you something, 64 00:02:53,635 --> 00:02:56,225 Haley's question deserves a lot of attention 65 00:02:56,225 --> 00:02:59,404 in our day and age - you know why? 66 00:02:59,404 --> 00:03:03,720 Now you guys know 1 Corinthians 5, 67 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,756 if you know your Bibles very well, 68 00:03:05,756 --> 00:03:08,847 this is coming after Paul has described a situation 69 00:03:08,847 --> 00:03:13,011 about a man who was sleeping with his father's wife. 70 00:03:13,011 --> 00:03:14,761 You guys remember the account? 71 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,613 Paul says you guys have been arrogant, 72 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,244 you need to put this guy out to the devil, 73 00:03:19,244 --> 00:03:20,534 get rid of him! 74 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,294 A little leaven leavens the whole lump. 75 00:03:23,294 --> 00:03:24,714 You've got a problem there, you've got sin, 76 00:03:24,714 --> 00:03:26,088 this guy calls himself a brother. 77 00:03:26,088 --> 00:03:27,985 Get him out. 78 00:03:27,985 --> 00:03:30,335 And there is evidence, is there not? 79 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,540 We're not told exactly, but there is some evidence 80 00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:37,277 that in 2 Corinthians that this guy was restored. 81 00:03:37,277 --> 00:03:39,121 But here's the thing. 82 00:03:39,121 --> 00:03:41,511 I think we might have a tendency 83 00:03:41,511 --> 00:03:45,361 to do something as Christians. 84 00:03:45,361 --> 00:03:47,951 Let me just give you an example: 85 00:03:47,951 --> 00:03:49,999 We had this guy Bruce... 86 00:03:49,999 --> 00:03:53,757 come into our church claiming to be a Christian. 87 00:03:53,757 --> 00:03:55,466 If you don't come to our church, I'll fill you in. 88 00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:57,450 This guy started coming to our church, 89 00:03:57,450 --> 00:03:59,775 and he'd come in drunk. 90 00:03:59,775 --> 00:04:01,660 I mean, he was a homeless guy, 91 00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:04,177 living on the street, and he was a drunk. 92 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,474 And he'd come in and say he was a Christian. 93 00:04:06,474 --> 00:04:11,017 And he'd interrupt things and do bizarre things. 94 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:14,012 He threatened one of the guys in the church 95 00:04:14,012 --> 00:04:16,171 busting his teeth out when he confronted him 96 00:04:16,171 --> 00:04:19,070 about whether he was a true Christian or not. 97 00:04:19,070 --> 00:04:22,473 Which kind of gives away where he's at. 98 00:04:22,473 --> 00:04:24,621 But here's the thing, 99 00:04:24,621 --> 00:04:29,632 I think we live in a country where there are 100 00:04:29,632 --> 00:04:33,970 multitudes of false professors. 101 00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:36,600 Because we've got such a cheap gospel out there today, 102 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,093 which is no gospel - not a true one. 103 00:04:39,093 --> 00:04:42,130 We've got people being pipelined into the Kingdom 104 00:04:42,130 --> 00:04:46,385 through short little sinner's prayers. 105 00:04:46,385 --> 00:04:53,194 Repentant-less messages like I told you about earlier. 106 00:04:53,194 --> 00:04:56,882 It's mass producing false converts. 107 00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:58,638 But see, I think sometimes we think, 108 00:04:58,638 --> 00:05:00,528 well, the guy in 1 Corinthians 5, 109 00:05:00,528 --> 00:05:02,476 sometimes it goes into our mind, 110 00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,286 he really was a true Christian, 111 00:05:04,286 --> 00:05:05,533 and when he was put out, 112 00:05:05,533 --> 00:05:07,304 he repented and he came back. 113 00:05:07,304 --> 00:05:09,314 And so I think sometimes what happens is 114 00:05:09,314 --> 00:05:11,653 we have people who profess to be Christians, 115 00:05:11,653 --> 00:05:15,300 and we tend to categorize them in our mind. 116 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,264 We tend to categorize them either as somebody who 117 00:05:17,264 --> 00:05:21,158 we genuinely think is a Christian 118 00:05:21,158 --> 00:05:23,238 and probably needs to be disciplined 119 00:05:23,238 --> 00:05:24,875 because they've fallen into some sin, 120 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,403 and we're hoping they'll come to repentance. 121 00:05:26,403 --> 00:05:28,574 Versus somebody that we look at and we say, 122 00:05:28,574 --> 00:05:30,762 "Ah, they're lost." 123 00:05:30,762 --> 00:05:32,078 And so what we can tend to do is 124 00:05:32,078 --> 00:05:34,771 say, well, the guy who we think is a Christian 125 00:05:34,771 --> 00:05:36,850 who has fallen into this sin, we ought to discipline him. 126 00:05:36,850 --> 00:05:38,866 We ought to put him out to Satan, like it said there, 127 00:05:38,866 --> 00:05:41,512 but this guy over here like Bruce, 128 00:05:41,512 --> 00:05:44,903 we look at him and we say, yeah, but he's lost; 129 00:05:44,903 --> 00:05:45,983 he's deceived. 130 00:05:45,983 --> 00:05:48,252 So we don't deal with them the same way. 131 00:05:48,252 --> 00:05:51,098 But listen to me, Paul doesn't say that. 132 00:05:51,098 --> 00:05:53,442 Paul doesn't say evaluate whether you think he is 133 00:05:53,442 --> 00:05:54,326 a Christian or not. 134 00:05:54,326 --> 00:05:57,812 Paul says if a guy says he's a brother, 135 00:05:57,812 --> 00:06:01,286 and he's involved in some habitual sin, 136 00:06:01,286 --> 00:06:03,256 just like we were talking about, 137 00:06:03,256 --> 00:06:04,836 put him out. 138 00:06:04,836 --> 00:06:07,386 In fact, it doesn't just say put him out, 139 00:06:07,386 --> 00:06:09,250 it says not to even associate with him, 140 00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:13,357 not to even eat with him. 141 00:06:13,357 --> 00:06:14,865 Folks, let me tell you something. 142 00:06:14,865 --> 00:06:17,288 We've lost this. 143 00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:19,662 We don't do this. 144 00:06:19,662 --> 00:06:24,887 And I'm not just speaking to you - I'm speaking to myself. 145 00:06:24,887 --> 00:06:29,002 Are we as a pattern coming across people 146 00:06:29,002 --> 00:06:32,108 that say they're Christians 147 00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:34,438 and they're living in sin 148 00:06:34,438 --> 00:06:37,538 and we just kind of write them off as lost people, 149 00:06:37,538 --> 00:06:40,420 and kind of approach them evangelistically. 150 00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:43,327 But that's not what it says to do here. 151 00:06:43,327 --> 00:06:48,761 It says, don't associate with them. 152 00:06:48,761 --> 00:06:50,536 Are we doing that? 153 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:53,368 Now, of course, her question is she's got a mother that way. 154 00:06:53,368 --> 00:06:55,320 Now I would say this, 155 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,260 Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5, 156 00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:58,838 when the church comes together. 157 00:06:58,838 --> 00:07:01,770 This is a church discipline situation. 158 00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:04,411 This isn't something that the government's told to do. 159 00:07:04,411 --> 00:07:06,827 It's not something the family is told to do. 160 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,252 It's not something the employer is told to do. 161 00:07:09,252 --> 00:07:12,522 It's something the church has been told to do. 162 00:07:12,522 --> 00:07:14,137 It's a spiritual thing. 163 00:07:14,137 --> 00:07:16,160 I would say this, look, 164 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:20,450 if somebody's husband gets disciplined, 165 00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:23,616 the woman is still bound 166 00:07:23,616 --> 00:07:32,071 by her marriage vows to be his wife. 167 00:07:32,071 --> 00:07:35,794 This girl, what should her relationship be? 168 00:07:35,794 --> 00:07:38,621 Let me tell you this: 169 00:07:38,621 --> 00:07:40,847 It's something the church does - it's not something 170 00:07:40,847 --> 00:07:42,901 that specifically the family's told to do. 171 00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:44,782 And all I can tell you is this: 172 00:07:44,782 --> 00:07:49,672 We have no specific biblical example where 173 00:07:49,672 --> 00:07:52,240 discipline takes place 174 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,790 and there is a family member there 175 00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:58,590 and how they are to relate. 176 00:07:58,590 --> 00:08:00,322 But I would tell you this, 177 00:08:00,322 --> 00:08:04,592 because the principal behind non-association is 178 00:08:04,592 --> 00:08:09,043 that leaven leavens the whole lump. 179 00:08:09,043 --> 00:08:12,584 What's that mean? 180 00:08:12,584 --> 00:08:17,292 What is a little leaven leavens the whole lump mean? 181 00:08:17,292 --> 00:08:18,578 What's the leaven? 182 00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:20,095 Sin. 183 00:08:20,095 --> 00:08:23,279 Where there's sin, it has a tendency to do what? 184 00:08:23,279 --> 00:08:25,052 To spread. 185 00:08:25,052 --> 00:08:29,028 Just like yeast, or leaven in bread, it spreads through the whole. 186 00:08:29,028 --> 00:08:32,661 If you allow sin in the church to go unchecked, 187 00:08:32,661 --> 00:08:35,327 what Paul's saying is, 188 00:08:35,327 --> 00:08:38,459 what happens is it infects. 189 00:08:38,459 --> 00:08:41,736 And the fact is, I'll guarantee you this, 190 00:08:41,736 --> 00:08:45,689 what happens is we get in a world of people 191 00:08:45,689 --> 00:08:49,996 that profess Christianity that are living in all sorts of sin. 192 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,446 You just immerse yourself in that long enough 193 00:08:52,446 --> 00:08:55,423 and there is an infection that comes from it. 194 00:08:55,423 --> 00:08:58,728 There is a yeast there. There's a spreading 195 00:08:58,728 --> 00:09:01,509 that tends to dull down what true Christianity is. 196 00:09:01,509 --> 00:09:03,165 It has an effect. 197 00:09:03,165 --> 00:09:05,112 We're told not to associate. 198 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,853 But I'll tell you when it comes to a child, 199 00:09:06,853 --> 00:09:07,853 when it comes to a parent, 200 00:09:07,853 --> 00:09:10,490 when it comes to a spouse, 201 00:09:10,490 --> 00:09:12,927 are they to sever those family relationships? 202 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:17,069 We're not told specifically, but I'll tell you this, 203 00:09:17,069 --> 00:09:21,137 that wife, that husband, that child, that parent, 204 00:09:21,137 --> 00:09:25,639 needs to be aware of what the spiritual reality 205 00:09:25,639 --> 00:09:28,137 behind church discipline is all about. 206 00:09:28,137 --> 00:09:32,196 It's meant to prevent sin from spreading. 207 00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,196 And so I would say, 208 00:09:33,196 --> 00:09:36,511 if a family member is ever put in that situation, 209 00:09:36,511 --> 00:09:40,054 though I would not say that they are to cast 210 00:09:40,054 --> 00:09:42,502 honoring the parent out the window, 211 00:09:42,502 --> 00:09:44,939 or the wife loving the husband out the window, 212 00:09:44,939 --> 00:09:48,775 when it comes to a church disciplinary situation, 213 00:09:48,775 --> 00:09:51,097 they need to be very aware of the fact that 214 00:09:51,097 --> 00:09:53,077 whatever leaven existed 215 00:09:53,077 --> 00:09:55,646 that caused the discipline to take place, 216 00:09:55,646 --> 00:09:57,180 they need to pray for special grace 217 00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,476 not to be infected by; and they need to pray 218 00:09:59,476 --> 00:10:02,616 for the grace to abide in the midst of that 219 00:10:02,616 --> 00:10:06,657 and not be tainted by it. 220 00:10:06,657 --> 00:10:07,917 And let me just tell you this too, 221 00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:12,320 it's 2 Thessalonians 3, where it says, 222 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,634 "if anyone does not obey what we say 223 00:10:14,634 --> 00:10:16,959 in this letter take note of that person, 224 00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:18,921 and have nothing to do with them, 225 00:10:18,921 --> 00:10:20,624 that they may be ashamed." 226 00:10:20,624 --> 00:10:22,329 That's 2 Thessalonians 3:14 following. 227 00:10:22,329 --> 00:10:23,647 But it says this, 228 00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:28,552 "Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother." 229 00:10:28,552 --> 00:10:30,990 You know, in all the non-association that we have 230 00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:34,659 with disciplined people, it doesn't rule out - 231 00:10:34,659 --> 00:10:36,345 it says don't eat with them, 232 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:39,398 I'll tell you what, if there was a disciplined brother 233 00:10:39,398 --> 00:10:41,801 that I was going to have over to my house to eat with, 234 00:10:41,801 --> 00:10:44,001 and all I was going to do is use it as an occasion 235 00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:45,934 to warn him and admonish him, 236 00:10:45,934 --> 00:10:49,924 I would feel liberty to do that. 237 00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:51,020 Warning. 238 00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:53,670 And if this young lady, 239 00:10:53,670 --> 00:10:55,594 she has been doing the right thing. 240 00:10:55,594 --> 00:11:00,347 She has been confronting her mother with that sin. 241 00:11:00,347 --> 00:11:02,593 And that's a loving thing; that's an honorable thing. 242 00:11:02,593 --> 00:11:04,467 She's desiring the best for her mother. 243 00:11:04,467 --> 00:11:06,295 That's reverencing her mother. 244 00:11:06,295 --> 00:11:07,631 And it would be the same situation 245 00:11:07,631 --> 00:11:10,996 if it was a woman to her husband, a husband to his wife. 246 00:11:10,996 --> 00:11:12,755 If they want the best, they want them to 247 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,001 come to repentance over the matter. 248 00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:16,212 They either want them to come to repentance 249 00:11:16,212 --> 00:11:18,071 or give up their profession. 250 00:11:18,071 --> 00:11:19,214 Right? 251 00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:24,989 Come clean that you're lost. Or repent. 252 00:11:24,989 --> 00:11:28,138 And so to press people and admonish them and warn them 253 00:11:28,138 --> 00:11:31,826 is what we're told to do in 2 Thessalonians 3:14. 254 00:11:31,826 --> 00:11:33,286 And so I would just say that, 255 00:11:33,286 --> 00:11:36,626 that family member needs to keep that in mind. 256 00:11:36,626 --> 00:11:38,512 And obviously, if the wife's living with the husband, 257 00:11:38,512 --> 00:11:42,135 she's not going to spend 24/7 admonishing the husband. 258 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,573 She's going to know when to do it; 259 00:11:43,573 --> 00:11:45,732 seek God for proper opportunity to do it. 260 00:11:45,732 --> 00:11:47,852 And maybe in many ways, 261 00:11:47,852 --> 00:11:51,390 she's going to seek to be that 1 Peter 3 woman, 262 00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:55,477 who without a word is just seeking to win her husband. 263 00:11:55,477 --> 00:12:00,704 Whether it's to repentance or to the faith. 264 00:12:00,704 --> 00:12:02,001 Whichever it might be. 265 00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:03,030 But taking that approach, 266 00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:04,125 and that might be a good approach 267 00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:06,219 for a child to take too. 268 00:12:06,219 --> 00:12:07,821 Like I say, we don't have a specific 269 00:12:07,821 --> 00:12:09,676 example of this in Scripture. 270 00:12:09,676 --> 00:12:14,281 And I know out at Community Baptist Church, 271 00:12:14,281 --> 00:12:16,901 not the same church that I was talking about up on 272 00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:18,603 1604, not the same one, 273 00:12:18,603 --> 00:12:21,115 this is a different one - this is down 1604 on the South side. 274 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:25,845 But we had situations where members were disciplined 275 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:29,610 who had spouses or parents or children 276 00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:31,976 who were members of the church as well, 277 00:12:31,976 --> 00:12:33,639 so this came up. 278 00:12:33,639 --> 00:12:40,139 And obviously, the family relationship was never severed 279 00:12:40,139 --> 00:12:41,955 because of that, 280 00:12:41,955 --> 00:12:47,229 but there is a way to walk in the midst of it in wisdom.