Title: Practical Advice on Overcoming Anger Meta: Original question, "I am 28 and married with two toddlers. Sometimes the demands of the kids and stresses of everyday life cause me extreme frustration. My wife says that I have anger issues and I believe she is right because I even try to watch against its rise but sometimes it still gets the best of me. It never gets physical and I acknowledge it is a problem but I am really desperate for some wisdom and practical advice on overcoming anger. I have been following Christ for almost 10 years now, I don't want these issues to get worse. I want to have victory over this and flourish as a Godly husband and father. Thank you for all you do." Tags: anger,Tim Conway,impatience,hatred,upset,wrath 1 00:00:05,042 --> 00:00:10,702 The first one is this from Adam. 2 00:00:10,702 --> 00:00:16,304 "I'm 28 and married with two toddlers. 3 00:00:16,304 --> 00:00:21,947 Sometimes the demands of the kids 4 00:00:21,947 --> 00:00:27,094 and stresses of everyday life 5 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:32,620 cause me extreme frustration." 6 00:00:32,620 --> 00:00:34,365 So you have that. 7 00:00:34,365 --> 00:00:38,130 28. It's a guy - Adam. 8 00:00:38,130 --> 00:00:41,792 28. Married. Two toddlers. 9 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,410 "Sometimes the demands of kids 10 00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:45,223 and stresses of everyday life 11 00:00:45,223 --> 00:00:47,943 cause me extreme frustration. 12 00:00:47,943 --> 00:00:52,332 My wife says that I have an anger issue, 13 00:00:52,332 --> 00:00:57,623 and I believe she's right, 14 00:00:57,623 --> 00:01:01,396 because I even try to watch against its rise, 15 00:01:01,396 --> 00:01:04,817 but sometimes it still gets the best of me. 16 00:01:04,817 --> 00:01:06,347 It never gets physical, 17 00:01:06,347 --> 00:01:08,906 and I acknowledge it is a problem, 18 00:01:08,906 --> 00:01:10,836 but I'm really desperate for some wisdom 19 00:01:10,836 --> 00:01:13,844 and practical advice on overcoming anger. 20 00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:18,856 I've been following Christ for almost 10 years now. 21 00:01:18,856 --> 00:01:21,570 I don't want these issues to get worse. 22 00:01:21,570 --> 00:01:23,469 I want to have victory over this 23 00:01:23,469 --> 00:01:26,654 and flourish as a godly husband and father. 24 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,108 Thank you for all you do. 25 00:01:28,108 --> 00:01:29,948 Adam." 26 00:01:29,948 --> 00:01:32,945 Now, look, we could easily spend 27 00:01:32,945 --> 00:01:35,328 the whole night on this. 28 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:41,619 But let's try not to. 29 00:01:41,619 --> 00:01:43,869 But anger's an issue. 30 00:01:43,869 --> 00:01:45,050 So talking about it 31 00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:52,442 and having a feel for it biblically - 32 00:01:52,442 --> 00:01:54,909 let me ask this. 33 00:01:54,909 --> 00:01:58,527 Is anger a sin? 34 00:01:58,527 --> 00:02:00,038 (from the room) 35 00:02:00,038 --> 00:02:05,511 I'd say no because Jesus was angry. 36 00:02:05,511 --> 00:02:12,341 Tim: What do you think? 37 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:18,398 It can be. 38 00:02:18,398 --> 00:02:24,484 We're not to let the sun go down on our anger. 39 00:02:24,484 --> 00:02:30,993 We are told to be angry and sin not. 40 00:02:30,993 --> 00:02:32,392 But do you ever read anything 41 00:02:32,392 --> 00:02:34,613 about the anger of man or wrath of man 42 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:37,058 in Scripture? 43 00:02:37,058 --> 00:02:40,077 What does Scripture say about that? 44 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:43,737 It doesn't produce the righteousness of God. 45 00:02:43,737 --> 00:02:45,091 So there's a bad wrath. 46 00:02:45,091 --> 00:02:46,702 There's a bad anger. 47 00:02:46,702 --> 00:02:48,708 There may be a righteous one, 48 00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:51,369 but there's a bad one. 49 00:02:51,369 --> 00:02:55,945 And if it's bad, it's sin. 50 00:02:55,945 --> 00:02:58,183 And what's the reality with sin? 51 00:02:58,183 --> 00:02:59,844 Here's the thing with anger. 52 00:02:59,844 --> 00:03:02,349 I mean, we live in a day 53 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,512 and I'm all the more reminded of it 54 00:03:05,512 --> 00:03:06,870 right now. 55 00:03:06,870 --> 00:03:08,691 We live in a day 56 00:03:08,691 --> 00:03:11,147 when everybody wants to diagnose sin 57 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:12,545 as a disease; 58 00:03:12,545 --> 00:03:17,858 as something that man is excusable for. 59 00:03:17,858 --> 00:03:19,691 But it's sin. 60 00:03:19,691 --> 00:03:23,846 (incomplete thought) 61 00:03:23,846 --> 00:03:26,048 Let's ask ourselves this: 62 00:03:26,048 --> 00:03:32,831 What produces anger? 63 00:03:32,831 --> 00:03:34,006 I mean, think about it. 64 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,091 You've gotten unrighteously angry. 65 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:39,363 Did it happen in a vacuum? 66 00:03:39,363 --> 00:03:40,611 What was that? 67 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:43,907 Not getting your own way. 68 00:03:43,907 --> 00:03:47,808 So, it's a situation that arises. 69 00:03:47,808 --> 00:03:49,119 Like this guy said - 70 00:03:49,119 --> 00:03:50,504 did you hear what he said? 71 00:03:50,504 --> 00:03:52,536 "I'm married and have two toddlers." 72 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:55,082 The demands of the kids, stresses of everyday life, 73 00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:57,068 cause extreme frustration." 74 00:03:57,068 --> 00:03:59,010 You see, what's happening, 75 00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:01,135 he's getting into situations 76 00:04:01,135 --> 00:04:02,435 and he's getting angry. 77 00:04:02,435 --> 00:04:04,346 But here's the thing about sin. 78 00:04:04,346 --> 00:04:06,694 Here's the thing that we need to recognize. 79 00:04:06,694 --> 00:04:10,756 Is the situation the problem? 80 00:04:10,756 --> 00:04:11,733 No. 81 00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:13,683 His heart is the problem. 82 00:04:13,683 --> 00:04:16,698 You see, what situations do in our life 83 00:04:16,698 --> 00:04:19,041 is they bring to the surface 84 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:22,422 what the real problem is. 85 00:04:22,422 --> 00:04:27,766 You know, you can get 86 00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:31,396 like the psychiatrist today 87 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,330 will have you come in and, 88 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:34,421 well, what is it? 89 00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:36,180 What do they typically want to know? 90 00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:39,034 Tell me about the relationship you had with your parents. 91 00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:41,757 Tell me about the relationship you had with your father. 92 00:04:41,757 --> 00:04:45,078 Oh, well, there's a possibility that we may have 93 00:04:45,078 --> 00:04:48,819 discovered some latent anger that you have 94 00:04:48,819 --> 00:04:50,688 with your father. 95 00:04:50,688 --> 00:04:52,262 Here. 96 00:04:52,262 --> 00:04:55,882 Imagine that this is your father. 97 00:04:55,882 --> 00:04:59,300 And hand him a stick. 98 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,203 I don't have a stick here. 99 00:05:01,203 --> 00:05:02,431 Whack that thing! 100 00:05:02,431 --> 00:05:04,092 And release the anger. 101 00:05:04,092 --> 00:05:06,504 Yeah, there's a stick right there. 102 00:05:06,504 --> 00:05:11,218 As though it's something pent up in us 103 00:05:11,218 --> 00:05:13,213 that has to be released. 104 00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,739 Like it's separate from us. 105 00:05:14,739 --> 00:05:16,906 But that's not what anger is. 106 00:05:16,906 --> 00:05:19,288 Do you think that helps the problem? 107 00:05:19,288 --> 00:05:22,033 No, that doesn't help the problem at all 108 00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:25,125 because it's not like we're this 109 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,364 cup of coffee and the coffee inside of it is the anger, 110 00:05:28,364 --> 00:05:29,904 and if I can just pour it out, 111 00:05:29,904 --> 00:05:31,163 everything's good. 112 00:05:31,163 --> 00:05:34,327 The issue is it's a moral problem. 113 00:05:34,327 --> 00:05:36,370 It's a problem with us. 114 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,173 If we really want to get to the root of anger, 115 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,682 the first thing we have to do - 116 00:05:40,682 --> 00:05:42,123 and really with all sin, 117 00:05:42,123 --> 00:05:43,521 is we have to acknowledge, 118 00:05:43,521 --> 00:05:45,234 it's my fault. 119 00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:48,069 I'm the one that's the problem here. 120 00:05:48,069 --> 00:05:50,708 Listen to something Scripture says 121 00:05:50,708 --> 00:05:54,955 about anger. 122 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,766 Proverbs 29:11 123 00:05:56,766 --> 00:05:58,728 In fact, you guys turn there. 124 00:05:58,728 --> 00:05:59,834 This is a Bible study. 125 00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:12,613 We need to utilize our Bibles. 126 00:06:12,613 --> 00:06:16,045 Now in the ESV - 127 00:06:16,045 --> 00:06:18,883 who's got the ESV and has turned there? 128 00:06:18,883 --> 00:06:22,788 Go ahead and read that out real loud, brother. 129 00:06:22,788 --> 00:06:25,287 "A fool gives full vent to his spirit; 130 00:06:25,287 --> 00:06:27,385 but a wise man quietly holds it back." 131 00:06:27,385 --> 00:06:30,550 A fool gives full vent to his spirit. 132 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:34,192 The Holman Christian says "anger." 133 00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:38,473 Anybody have the New American Standard? 134 00:06:38,473 --> 00:06:40,828 Would you read that real loud? 135 00:06:40,828 --> 00:06:43,867 "A fool always loses his temper, 136 00:06:43,867 --> 00:06:46,389 but a wise man holds it back." 137 00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:49,725 Hear that. "A fool always loses his temper." 138 00:06:49,725 --> 00:06:52,404 You know what we say to Adam (the one writing)? 139 00:06:52,404 --> 00:06:59,285 This is an issue of wisdom and foolishness. 140 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:02,364 That's what Scripture says it is. 141 00:07:02,364 --> 00:07:05,761 If we want to diagnose it properly, 142 00:07:05,761 --> 00:07:09,312 a wise man - the thing is, 143 00:07:09,312 --> 00:07:11,541 if he's venting his anger, 144 00:07:11,541 --> 00:07:14,409 he's a fool. 145 00:07:14,409 --> 00:07:16,296 Now think with me here. 146 00:07:16,296 --> 00:07:19,881 When we begin to put something on the level of - 147 00:07:19,881 --> 00:07:23,761 you're wise or you're a fool, 148 00:07:23,761 --> 00:07:27,076 what can we say about that? 149 00:07:27,076 --> 00:07:29,525 What does that tell us? 150 00:07:29,525 --> 00:07:31,182 And I don't know that I'm looking 151 00:07:31,182 --> 00:07:32,563 for any specific answer, 152 00:07:32,563 --> 00:07:34,236 but what does it say to you 153 00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:38,156 when Scripture speaks that way? 154 00:07:38,156 --> 00:07:44,008 A wise man - he holds it in. 155 00:07:44,008 --> 00:07:46,275 You know what it tells me? 156 00:07:46,275 --> 00:07:48,628 One of the things that jumps out at me 157 00:07:48,628 --> 00:07:52,500 is the Scripture says and it expects 158 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:55,243 that you can hold it in 159 00:07:55,243 --> 00:07:58,092 and it's a fool when you don't hold it in. 160 00:07:58,092 --> 00:08:00,661 Let me give you an example. 161 00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:02,710 Let's say you're a man 162 00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:04,142 that's got two toddlers, 163 00:08:04,142 --> 00:08:06,090 like the guy that's described here. 164 00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:07,528 Let's say he comes home. 165 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,106 The house is a mess. 166 00:08:09,106 --> 00:08:11,044 Dinner's not ready. 167 00:08:11,044 --> 00:08:14,600 The kids are screaming. 168 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:15,833 And what happens? 169 00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:17,494 Well, there's the situation. 170 00:08:17,494 --> 00:08:18,878 What does the situation do? 171 00:08:18,878 --> 00:08:22,579 It gives to vent to his moral problem, 172 00:08:22,579 --> 00:08:26,300 and he's in a rage. 173 00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:29,034 "Shut up!" 174 00:08:29,034 --> 00:08:33,073 And also the doorbell rings. 175 00:08:33,073 --> 00:08:35,852 He looks through the blinds. 176 00:08:35,852 --> 00:08:37,906 It's the UPS guy. 177 00:08:37,906 --> 00:08:39,354 He goes to the door. 178 00:08:39,354 --> 00:08:40,750 He doesn't scream at him. 179 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,173 He actually opens the door, 180 00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,883 closes the door. 181 00:08:43,883 --> 00:08:48,346 Smiles. Says, "hey, how are you doing?" 182 00:08:48,346 --> 00:08:50,128 Signs for his package 183 00:08:50,128 --> 00:08:52,800 and then goes back in. 184 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,766 Does that sound like real life? 185 00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,941 But you know what he just did? 186 00:08:57,941 --> 00:09:02,102 He showed that he could exercise self-control 187 00:09:02,102 --> 00:09:04,268 when he thought that either 188 00:09:04,268 --> 00:09:08,043 (incomplete thought). 189 00:09:08,043 --> 00:09:10,677 He doesn't want to embarrass himself. 190 00:09:10,677 --> 00:09:13,359 Sometimes it's a matter of counting the cost. 191 00:09:13,359 --> 00:09:14,282 You know what? 192 00:09:14,282 --> 00:09:16,896 I think that's it a lot of times. 193 00:09:16,896 --> 00:09:22,257 Would that man shout at his boss that way? 194 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,762 Likely not. Why? 195 00:09:24,762 --> 00:09:25,855 The cost. 196 00:09:25,855 --> 00:09:27,961 You know what happens? 197 00:09:27,961 --> 00:09:31,176 We actually can exercise self-control 198 00:09:31,176 --> 00:09:32,732 when we want to; 199 00:09:32,732 --> 00:09:35,607 when we want to not come across 200 00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:39,740 like we're some crazy man to the UPS guy. 201 00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:42,516 Or we don't want to be seen as 202 00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:45,784 being out-of-control or having a loose temper. 203 00:09:45,784 --> 00:09:48,617 So we want to appear a certain way. 204 00:09:48,617 --> 00:09:51,649 But here's the thing, 205 00:09:51,649 --> 00:09:56,786 if we can control ourselves because of - 206 00:09:56,786 --> 00:09:59,875 what's the cost if I lose my temper 207 00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:03,233 when the police officer pulls me over? 208 00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:05,496 You're a police officer, aren't you? 209 00:10:05,496 --> 00:10:07,942 (Incomplete thought) 210 00:10:07,942 --> 00:10:10,395 Today, there's a lot of disrespect 211 00:10:10,395 --> 00:10:13,082 for police officers that there used to not be. 212 00:10:13,082 --> 00:10:14,960 Hopefully that's changing again. 213 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,679 But I know how I respond. 214 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:20,625 Except for one time when I was lost 215 00:10:20,625 --> 00:10:22,987 and I got pulled over riding my motorcycle 216 00:10:22,987 --> 00:10:25,450 extremely fast and it was totally my fault. 217 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,391 I was upset. 218 00:10:27,391 --> 00:10:30,334 But, typically you talk very nice. 219 00:10:30,334 --> 00:10:32,800 You show self-control. 220 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,301 But you know, one of the things is, 221 00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:41,524 we look at the cost. 222 00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:44,458 We look at what's at stake. 223 00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:50,118 But I would say the same thing. 224 00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:52,382 Why would we change our attitude 225 00:10:52,382 --> 00:10:55,427 towards the UPS guy 226 00:10:55,427 --> 00:10:57,011 when we really come down to think 227 00:10:57,011 --> 00:10:59,662 what's at stake? 228 00:10:59,662 --> 00:11:01,749 Do you know that portion of Scripture 229 00:11:01,749 --> 00:11:03,567 that speaks about letting the sun 230 00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:05,517 go down on your anger? 231 00:11:05,517 --> 00:11:08,292 Not letting it go down on your anger? 232 00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:13,849 Actually, not having sinful anger? 233 00:11:13,849 --> 00:11:16,126 It's right in the same portion of Scripture 234 00:11:16,126 --> 00:11:21,228 that talks about not grieving the Holy Spirit. 235 00:11:21,228 --> 00:11:22,528 You know what? 236 00:11:22,528 --> 00:11:25,104 If I value my walk with the Lord 237 00:11:25,104 --> 00:11:27,676 and I value my communion with Him, 238 00:11:27,676 --> 00:11:30,147 I'm counting the cost there. 239 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,557 That's a big factor. 240 00:11:32,557 --> 00:11:37,398 It talks about what our priorities are in life. 241 00:11:37,398 --> 00:11:39,429 If I can show self-control 242 00:11:39,429 --> 00:11:43,863 when the consequences of not showing it 243 00:11:43,863 --> 00:11:45,294 are signficant enough - 244 00:11:45,294 --> 00:11:47,985 if I recognize that I really do 245 00:11:47,985 --> 00:11:49,307 have self-control, 246 00:11:49,307 --> 00:11:51,755 and the reason that I lose self-control 247 00:11:51,755 --> 00:11:55,812 is because I'm being a fool, 248 00:11:55,812 --> 00:11:58,309 and I recognize that if I'm willing 249 00:11:58,309 --> 00:12:01,441 to not lose my temper at work 250 00:12:01,441 --> 00:12:03,234 because it might cost me my job, 251 00:12:03,234 --> 00:12:05,194 what am I saying? 252 00:12:05,194 --> 00:12:07,040 But I'll gladly lose it other times 253 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:11,165 even though it costs me my communion with the Lord? 254 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,488 Even though it's barking at my wife 255 00:12:13,488 --> 00:12:16,578 and not living with her in an understanding way, 256 00:12:16,578 --> 00:12:22,211 and it's going to hinder my prayers? 257 00:12:22,211 --> 00:12:24,050 What do you all think? 258 00:12:24,050 --> 00:12:26,369 Any thoughts on anger? 259 00:12:26,369 --> 00:12:27,300 (from the room) 260 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,985 I think we were reading last Sunday 261 00:12:29,985 --> 00:12:31,630 about - I don't know if it was 262 00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:33,618 1 Corinthians 16 or somewhere it said 263 00:12:33,618 --> 00:12:35,309 that the angry would not inherit 264 00:12:35,309 --> 00:12:37,083 the kingdom of heaven or something? 265 00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:38,777 That kind of concerned me 266 00:12:38,777 --> 00:12:47,234 because I didn't know what to think of that. 267 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:50,537 Tim: Think about anger. 268 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:55,196 Anger is: I want my way 269 00:12:55,196 --> 00:12:58,337 and God brings something else into my life 270 00:12:58,337 --> 00:13:00,070 that isn't my way, 271 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:03,449 and because I'm not getting my way, 272 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,066 I go into a rage. 273 00:13:06,066 --> 00:13:09,119 And that's really what we're talking about. 274 00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:11,183 That's the idea behind it. 275 00:13:11,183 --> 00:13:13,508 And you know, the thing is 276 00:13:13,508 --> 00:13:17,215 the trap is when you start to think 277 00:13:17,215 --> 00:13:20,238 you're incapable of dealing with it. 278 00:13:20,238 --> 00:13:22,933 Now look, I'm not talking about in your own strength; 279 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,372 I'm not talking about lost. 280 00:13:24,372 --> 00:13:29,212 If you're lost, you are not in control of sin. 281 00:13:29,212 --> 00:13:32,219 But look, by the Spirit, 282 00:13:32,219 --> 00:13:34,341 as a Christian, 283 00:13:34,341 --> 00:13:37,003 we can live in the power of the Spirit 284 00:13:37,003 --> 00:13:41,861 so as to put to death the deeds of the body. 285 00:13:41,861 --> 00:13:43,997 That's what Scripture says. 286 00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:48,009 And the trap is you as a Christian 287 00:13:48,009 --> 00:13:50,047 falling into this mindset 288 00:13:50,047 --> 00:13:53,640 that well, I have an anger problem 289 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,908 and I just can't do anything about it. 290 00:13:56,908 --> 00:13:58,811 That's not true. 291 00:13:58,811 --> 00:14:01,093 That's not true at all. 292 00:14:01,093 --> 00:14:04,063 And the reality is you need to be honest 293 00:14:04,063 --> 00:14:07,599 about the fact that you're getting angry 294 00:14:07,599 --> 00:14:09,437 because you're a fool. 295 00:14:09,437 --> 00:14:11,049 That's what Scripture says. 296 00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:14,468 And you have to be honest 297 00:14:14,468 --> 00:14:18,259 that you know you can keep yourself 298 00:14:18,259 --> 00:14:21,765 under control in different situations - 299 00:14:21,765 --> 00:14:23,988 even right on the spur of the moment 300 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,419 if somebody else comes around 301 00:14:26,419 --> 00:14:28,874 and it's just socially appropriate 302 00:14:28,874 --> 00:14:32,032 that you not allow yourself to be seen 303 00:14:32,032 --> 00:14:35,805 as violent and angry. 304 00:14:35,805 --> 00:14:42,740 Listen, the solution to anger 305 00:14:42,740 --> 00:14:45,201 is a moral one. 306 00:14:45,201 --> 00:14:50,908 It's that we need to turn from our sin, 307 00:14:50,908 --> 00:14:53,273 and we need to trust the Lord. 308 00:14:53,273 --> 00:14:56,226 We need to look to Him - 309 00:14:56,226 --> 00:14:57,715 I mean, in repentance. 310 00:14:57,715 --> 00:14:58,968 We need to look to Him 311 00:14:58,968 --> 00:15:01,375 and seek for His help; 312 00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:07,007 looking to Him in faith. 313 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:13,367 Anything else to say? 314 00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:14,652 (from the room) 315 00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:17,124 I feel like what David was pointing out 316 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,457 in Galatians 5, 317 00:15:18,457 --> 00:15:20,668 it always strikes me how it says it here: 318 00:15:20,668 --> 00:15:22,594 "the works of the flesh are evident..." 319 00:15:22,594 --> 00:15:25,104 and it says, "fits of anger." 320 00:15:25,104 --> 00:15:27,398 And he goes on to say, 321 00:15:27,398 --> 00:15:29,631 "I warn you as I warned you before 322 00:15:29,631 --> 00:15:31,226 that those who do such things 323 00:15:31,226 --> 00:15:33,053 will not inherit the kingdom of God." 324 00:15:33,053 --> 00:15:36,485 Tim: Yeah, it's not little, is it? 325 00:15:36,485 --> 00:15:40,338 But Scripture always speaks this way. 326 00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:44,460 Because even the text there in Romans 8 327 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:48,040 says that if you live according to the flesh, 328 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,679 you will die. 329 00:15:49,679 --> 00:15:53,640 And living in anger 330 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,214 is living according to the flesh. 331 00:15:56,214 --> 00:15:58,367 And you will die. 332 00:15:58,367 --> 00:16:01,653 Why? Because God's salvation is such 333 00:16:01,653 --> 00:16:07,340 that it delivers people from anger. 334 00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:12,252 True salvation does that 100% of the time. 335 00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:14,030 But you see, this is faith. 336 00:16:14,030 --> 00:16:15,287 When I come to faith, 337 00:16:15,287 --> 00:16:17,027 it's not just believing that Jesus 338 00:16:17,027 --> 00:16:18,579 was a historical figure. 339 00:16:18,579 --> 00:16:21,445 It's believing that Jesus - 340 00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:26,407 His name is called Jesus. Why? 341 00:16:26,407 --> 00:16:30,241 Because He saves His people from their sin. 342 00:16:30,241 --> 00:16:33,907 It's recognizing - 343 00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:36,037 I have an outburst of anger, 344 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:38,630 and it's going out and praying, 345 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:42,384 Lord, I'm sorry. I trust You. 346 00:16:42,384 --> 00:16:44,498 You promised. 347 00:16:44,498 --> 00:16:47,288 You promised to conform me to the image of Christ. 348 00:16:47,288 --> 00:16:50,539 You promised in Your Word that sin won't have dominion over me. 349 00:16:50,539 --> 00:16:52,774 You promised that if I'm a true Christian, 350 00:16:52,774 --> 00:16:55,894 by the Spirit, I will put to death the deeds of the body. 351 00:16:55,894 --> 00:16:57,475 You've promised this, Lord. 352 00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:02,220 You've promised that if I don't overcome this, 353 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,837 that I go to hell. 354 00:17:03,837 --> 00:17:05,459 And yet, You've saved me. 355 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,723 So I put those together, 356 00:17:06,723 --> 00:17:08,526 and what I see in there is a promise 357 00:17:08,526 --> 00:17:12,851 that You're going to deliver me from my anger. 358 00:17:12,851 --> 00:17:15,814 And that's the reality. 359 00:17:15,814 --> 00:17:19,690 This is real life Christianity. 360 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,822 If your Christianity doesn't change you 361 00:17:21,822 --> 00:17:25,171 from being an angry man or an angry woman 362 00:17:25,171 --> 00:17:27,311 to not being - it's not the true thing. 363 00:17:27,311 --> 00:17:28,829 It's not the real deal. 364 00:17:28,829 --> 00:17:31,650 Listen, true Christianity's powerful. 365 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,270 You're a new creation. 366 00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:36,667 The old angry man goes away. 367 00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,415 That doesn't mean that there isn't 368 00:17:38,415 --> 00:17:39,900 somewhat of a process 369 00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:42,286 of putting to death the deeds of the body. 370 00:17:42,286 --> 00:17:43,381 Certainly there is. 371 00:17:43,381 --> 00:17:47,067 That doesn't mean that there isn't 372 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:50,195 the necessity to think right. 373 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,510 You know what? 374 00:17:51,510 --> 00:17:53,351 If you're going to battle sin, 375 00:17:53,351 --> 00:17:55,799 it's always a matter of every sin, 376 00:17:55,799 --> 00:17:57,185 there's a lie behind it. 377 00:17:57,185 --> 00:17:59,613 And it's always a matter of confronting it 378 00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:01,369 with the truth. 379 00:18:01,369 --> 00:18:04,363 When you're angry, if you think about 380 00:18:04,363 --> 00:18:11,696 what the truth is; 381 00:18:11,696 --> 00:18:13,902 if you think about the fact 382 00:18:13,902 --> 00:18:17,486 that I'm in this situation; 383 00:18:17,486 --> 00:18:20,862 God has put me in this situation. 384 00:18:20,862 --> 00:18:24,008 You think about the reality. 385 00:18:24,008 --> 00:18:26,254 The situation isn't the problem. 386 00:18:26,254 --> 00:18:28,852 All the situation is doing is bringing 387 00:18:28,852 --> 00:18:32,188 the dross, the contaminants, 388 00:18:32,188 --> 00:18:36,231 the impurities in my heart and my life - 389 00:18:36,231 --> 00:18:38,651 it's bring them to the surface. 390 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,366 And here's the thing, 391 00:18:40,366 --> 00:18:43,024 did God promise to purge us? 392 00:18:43,024 --> 00:18:46,165 Did He promise to put us in the refiner's fire? 393 00:18:46,165 --> 00:18:49,694 Listen. You can be certain of this, 394 00:18:49,694 --> 00:18:54,816 that God is in the business of rooting out 395 00:18:54,816 --> 00:19:00,965 the deep sins and idols of our life. 396 00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,840 And if you have an anger problem, 397 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,385 I guarantee you this, 398 00:19:04,385 --> 00:19:06,721 God is going to repeatedly bring you back 399 00:19:06,721 --> 00:19:10,426 and put you in situations - why? 400 00:19:10,426 --> 00:19:14,706 Because, the big thing is He wants us to trust Him. 401 00:19:14,706 --> 00:19:17,009 He wants us to walk by faith. 402 00:19:17,009 --> 00:19:19,491 He wants us looking to Him. 403 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,634 Look, it's no different than a leper 404 00:19:21,634 --> 00:19:24,172 who looked to Him for healing. 405 00:19:24,172 --> 00:19:27,667 Our leprosy is our anger, 406 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,198 our immorality, our idolatry... 407 00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:33,199 fill in the blank. 408 00:19:33,199 --> 00:19:38,267 He wants us to walk by faith. 409 00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,777 Anything else to be said about anger 410 00:19:40,777 --> 00:19:42,885 before we move on? 411 00:19:42,885 --> 00:19:44,607 (from the room) 412 00:19:44,607 --> 00:19:48,265 (unintelligible) 413 00:19:48,265 --> 00:19:53,152 And that's spoken of a little in James 4. 414 00:19:53,152 --> 00:19:55,948 "What causes quarrels among you? 415 00:19:55,948 --> 00:19:57,024 What causes fights? 416 00:19:57,024 --> 00:19:59,415 Is it not that your passions are at war within you? 417 00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:01,183 You desire and you do not have..." 418 00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:03,291 And then it speaks of, 419 00:20:03,291 --> 00:20:04,800 "you ask and do not receive 420 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,536 because you ask wrongly to spend 421 00:20:06,536 --> 00:20:08,139 it on your own passions." 422 00:20:08,139 --> 00:20:10,691 So, we should go to God with it 423 00:20:10,691 --> 00:20:19,402 and desire the things of God. 424 00:20:19,402 --> 00:20:22,060 Tim: You know, I was thinking 425 00:20:22,060 --> 00:20:25,820 about two places in Scripture 426 00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:29,005 where men were angry 427 00:20:29,005 --> 00:20:31,095 and God spoke to them directly. 428 00:20:31,095 --> 00:20:33,735 Can you think of both of them? 429 00:20:33,735 --> 00:20:40,054 Cain and Jonah. 430 00:20:40,054 --> 00:20:41,994 Those are the two that came to my mind. 431 00:20:41,994 --> 00:20:43,775 Do you remember what He said to Cain? 432 00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:47,031 Now think about it. Both men are angry. 433 00:20:47,031 --> 00:20:48,734 This is probably helpful. 434 00:20:48,734 --> 00:20:50,715 We should probably find them. 435 00:20:50,715 --> 00:20:52,214 The first one of course is 436 00:20:52,214 --> 00:20:54,779 in the early part of Genesis. 437 00:20:54,779 --> 00:20:58,435 Chapter 4 I believe. 438 00:20:58,435 --> 00:21:01,973 Anybody see the verse? 439 00:21:01,973 --> 00:21:05,796 Verse 6, "The Lord said to Cain..." 440 00:21:05,796 --> 00:21:09,397 There it is. "Why are you angry 441 00:21:09,397 --> 00:21:11,939 and why has your face fallen?" 442 00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:14,236 Isn't that interesting? 443 00:21:14,236 --> 00:21:16,957 It's like God can say that to every one of us 444 00:21:16,957 --> 00:21:18,257 when we're angry. 445 00:21:18,257 --> 00:21:20,373 Why are you angry? 446 00:21:20,373 --> 00:21:23,414 Now, why would God say that? 447 00:21:23,414 --> 00:21:27,168 Because when we think 448 00:21:27,168 --> 00:21:30,921 about things truthfully, 449 00:21:30,921 --> 00:21:35,873 there is no reason for us to be angry. 450 00:21:35,873 --> 00:21:37,668 Listen. 451 00:21:37,668 --> 00:21:41,452 Raise your hand if you don't deserve to be in hell right now. 452 00:21:41,452 --> 00:21:43,174 How many of the people in hell 453 00:21:43,174 --> 00:21:44,585 do you think would gladly be 454 00:21:44,585 --> 00:21:49,743 in a household with two screaming children? 455 00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:51,663 Boy, it certainly would seem like 456 00:21:51,663 --> 00:21:54,240 a lot of goodness from God 457 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,096 if you were suddenly back here 458 00:21:56,096 --> 00:22:00,222 sitting in a room with your dinner not ready, 459 00:22:00,222 --> 00:22:01,690 the house a mess, 460 00:22:01,690 --> 00:22:04,822 and two children screaming at the top of their lungs. 461 00:22:04,822 --> 00:22:06,939 You would jump up and down for joy 462 00:22:06,939 --> 00:22:09,510 at all the blessings in that. 463 00:22:09,510 --> 00:22:11,682 Because the reality is 464 00:22:11,682 --> 00:22:14,500 sinners have no right to be angry 465 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,967 about anything. 466 00:22:16,967 --> 00:22:20,066 Not when God's not dealing with us 467 00:22:20,066 --> 00:22:22,803 according to what our desserts are. 468 00:22:22,803 --> 00:22:25,744 "Why are you angry?" 469 00:22:25,744 --> 00:22:27,207 Because there is no reason. 470 00:22:27,207 --> 00:22:29,007 "And why is your face fallen? 471 00:22:29,007 --> 00:22:33,018 If you do well, will you not be accepted? 472 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,501 And if you do not do well, 473 00:22:35,501 --> 00:22:37,213 sin is crouching at the door. 474 00:22:37,213 --> 00:22:39,522 It's desire is for you." 475 00:22:39,522 --> 00:22:41,353 Isn't this interesting? 476 00:22:41,353 --> 00:22:48,109 "You must rule over it." 477 00:22:48,109 --> 00:22:51,868 God means for us and He has sent His Son 478 00:22:51,868 --> 00:22:54,390 to accomplish this - 479 00:22:54,390 --> 00:23:01,140 for us not to be dupes of sin. 480 00:23:01,140 --> 00:23:04,145 He came to make us real men. 481 00:23:04,145 --> 00:23:07,021 "Quit you like men" the King James Bible says. 482 00:23:07,021 --> 00:23:09,929 He came to make us real men. 483 00:23:09,929 --> 00:23:12,263 Men who aren't slaves. 484 00:23:12,263 --> 00:23:14,615 Oh, I wish I could quote Piper exactly. 485 00:23:14,615 --> 00:23:16,640 One time I came across - 486 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,556 he describes men being led along 487 00:23:20,556 --> 00:23:23,837 by the lusts of their desires 488 00:23:23,837 --> 00:23:28,085 like some craven, cowardly, 489 00:23:28,085 --> 00:23:30,814 on a leash, being pulled along 490 00:23:30,814 --> 00:23:33,069 after our sexual immorality 491 00:23:33,069 --> 00:23:35,005 and drugs and alcohol 492 00:23:35,005 --> 00:23:36,926 and pleasure seeking and money, 493 00:23:36,926 --> 00:23:42,216 and just like some craven slave. 494 00:23:42,216 --> 00:23:46,019 He came to set us free. 495 00:23:46,019 --> 00:23:49,155 He came to make us true men. 496 00:23:49,155 --> 00:23:52,930 He came to make us masters of sin, 497 00:23:52,930 --> 00:23:57,417 not slaves of it. 498 00:23:57,417 --> 00:24:04,888 How about Jonah? Anybody got that? 499 00:24:04,888 --> 00:24:08,932 What does He say to Jonah? 500 00:24:08,932 --> 00:24:10,712 It's right at the end, you remember, 501 00:24:10,712 --> 00:24:14,980 when Jonah's upset because his gourd plant 502 00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:21,511 was shriveled? 503 00:24:21,511 --> 00:24:23,422 Go ahead and read that. 504 00:24:23,422 --> 00:24:26,956 Jonah 4:1 "But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, 505 00:24:26,956 --> 00:24:29,316 and he was angry." 506 00:24:29,316 --> 00:24:30,948 There it is. 507 00:24:30,948 --> 00:24:34,840 And what does God say to him? 508 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:40,186 (incomplete thought) 509 00:24:40,186 --> 00:24:43,363 "'Do you do well to be angry for the plant?' 510 00:24:43,363 --> 00:24:45,374 and he said, 'Yes, I do well to be angry - 511 00:24:45,374 --> 00:24:47,232 angry enough to die.' 512 00:24:47,232 --> 00:24:48,924 And the Lord said, 513 00:24:48,924 --> 00:24:51,484 'You pity the plant for which you did not labor, 514 00:24:51,484 --> 00:24:53,010 nor did you make it grow, 515 00:24:53,010 --> 00:24:55,660 which came into being in a night 516 00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:58,497 and perished in a night.'" 517 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,271 Tim: You know what jumps out at me 518 00:25:00,271 --> 00:25:05,717 above everything else is this: 519 00:25:05,717 --> 00:25:09,569 God said, "I did that." 520 00:25:09,569 --> 00:25:10,951 "I prepared that." 521 00:25:10,951 --> 00:25:13,974 It specifically says He brought that worm. 522 00:25:13,974 --> 00:25:15,777 He brought that wind. 523 00:25:15,777 --> 00:25:20,816 You know what's interesting about that? 524 00:25:20,816 --> 00:25:24,351 It's that when you're sitting there, 525 00:25:24,351 --> 00:25:29,177 He can say, I created all the hindrances 526 00:25:29,177 --> 00:25:31,973 from your wife having that dinner ready. 527 00:25:31,973 --> 00:25:34,330 I am bringing the agitation 528 00:25:34,330 --> 00:25:35,944 to your children right now 529 00:25:35,944 --> 00:25:37,504 and they both have wet diapers 530 00:25:37,504 --> 00:25:40,408 and need to be changed and they're crying. 531 00:25:40,408 --> 00:25:43,950 I am the one who... 532 00:25:43,950 --> 00:25:46,582 right? You can fill in all the blanks. 533 00:25:46,582 --> 00:25:50,080 That jumps out at me above everything else 534 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,766 in that account. 535 00:25:51,766 --> 00:25:57,036 God is the one who did all of it, 536 00:25:57,036 --> 00:25:59,053 and He's saying, 537 00:25:59,053 --> 00:26:02,398 do you have any right to be angry? 538 00:26:02,398 --> 00:26:03,953 Now, I know that the big issue 539 00:26:03,953 --> 00:26:05,491 had to do with Ninevah. 540 00:26:05,491 --> 00:26:08,797 But it's like what's behind all of it, 541 00:26:08,797 --> 00:26:11,994 is everything there that's angering him 542 00:26:11,994 --> 00:26:14,017 is something God has done. 543 00:26:14,017 --> 00:26:16,822 And the book of Jonah is so specific. 544 00:26:16,822 --> 00:26:18,277 God raises up the whale. 545 00:26:18,277 --> 00:26:20,196 God brings this storm that caused them 546 00:26:20,196 --> 00:26:21,308 to be thrown over... 547 00:26:21,308 --> 00:26:24,654 What's really interesting about the book of Jonah 548 00:26:24,654 --> 00:26:26,256 is the sovereignty of God. 549 00:26:26,256 --> 00:26:27,984 And God is stepping in and saying, 550 00:26:27,984 --> 00:26:30,596 Jonah, do you do well to be angry? 551 00:26:30,596 --> 00:26:32,914 Why? Because you consider the reality of it. 552 00:26:32,914 --> 00:26:35,532 Jonah, I brought all these things. 553 00:26:35,532 --> 00:26:39,955 And not only that, but I have a heart 554 00:26:39,955 --> 00:26:43,081 for these Ninevites. 555 00:26:43,081 --> 00:26:46,673 And that book ends in one of the strangest ways 556 00:26:46,673 --> 00:26:49,198 of any book in the Bible. 557 00:26:49,198 --> 00:26:55,037 And He also seems to have concern for their cattle. 558 00:26:55,037 --> 00:26:57,273 It's like, can you imagine if you're Jonah? 559 00:26:57,273 --> 00:26:59,188 Not only does He care for the Ninevites, 560 00:26:59,188 --> 00:27:00,634 He cares for their cattle. 561 00:27:00,634 --> 00:27:03,374 And I'm here complaining. 562 00:27:03,374 --> 00:27:04,686 Anyway. 563 00:27:04,686 --> 00:27:08,891 Anything else jump out at you guys from those? 564 00:27:08,891 --> 00:27:13,215 Jesus would have us pray for 565 00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:16,054 and show kindness towards - 566 00:27:16,054 --> 00:27:18,494 we are to pray for those who 567 00:27:18,494 --> 00:27:21,091 despitefully use us. 568 00:27:21,091 --> 00:27:26,434 But I would say this about 569 00:27:26,434 --> 00:27:31,784 holding back our anger wisely, 570 00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:35,292 according to that proverb 571 00:27:35,292 --> 00:27:39,379 is different than just holding it in 572 00:27:39,379 --> 00:27:42,275 and being bitter inside. 573 00:27:42,275 --> 00:27:44,404 I know that's not exactly what James 574 00:27:44,404 --> 00:27:45,610 is hitting at, 575 00:27:45,610 --> 00:27:48,125 but what you want to be able to do 576 00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:52,131 is walk away from situations that normally 577 00:27:52,131 --> 00:27:56,252 may have caused an angry outburst. 578 00:27:56,252 --> 00:27:57,942 But you know, when it talks about 579 00:27:57,942 --> 00:28:00,747 not letting the sun go down on your anger, 580 00:28:00,747 --> 00:28:02,714 it's not just talking about 581 00:28:02,714 --> 00:28:06,396 the external manifestations of it. 582 00:28:06,396 --> 00:28:12,250 It's talking about harboring it here. 583 00:28:12,250 --> 00:28:15,069 And how do you deal with that? 584 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:18,493 I mean, one of the big things is 585 00:28:18,493 --> 00:28:24,898 just the Matthew 18 reality. 586 00:28:24,898 --> 00:28:30,351 God has forgiven me of so much. 587 00:28:30,351 --> 00:28:34,770 And whether it's my wife, my husband, 588 00:28:34,770 --> 00:28:37,258 a guy that I go to church with, 589 00:28:37,258 --> 00:28:40,974 a guy I work with, family member, whatever. 590 00:28:40,974 --> 00:28:48,146 Whatever debt that I have rights to 591 00:28:48,146 --> 00:28:51,085 because of their wrongs to me, 592 00:28:51,085 --> 00:28:58,411 how much more do I owe the Lord? 593 00:28:58,411 --> 00:29:01,723 I hope there's reality with that for you folks. 594 00:29:01,723 --> 00:29:04,516 Very often, thinking about what God has 595 00:29:04,516 --> 00:29:08,821 forgiven me of, 596 00:29:08,821 --> 00:29:10,172 it's an immediate thought: 597 00:29:10,172 --> 00:29:12,052 how can I hold this - 598 00:29:12,052 --> 00:29:14,559 even though there may be a wrong 599 00:29:14,559 --> 00:29:17,756 that's got its nails in my heart - 600 00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:24,622 but still, the truth sets us free, brethren. 601 00:29:24,622 --> 00:29:27,636 In all these things: truth. 602 00:29:27,636 --> 00:29:28,877 You start getting angry, 603 00:29:28,877 --> 00:29:31,551 you start bombarding these things with truth. 604 00:29:31,551 --> 00:29:33,247 What does Scripture say? 605 00:29:33,247 --> 00:29:35,706 How does Jesus want me to react? 606 00:29:35,706 --> 00:29:37,132 Maybe as much as anything, 607 00:29:37,132 --> 00:29:39,109 how did He react? 608 00:29:39,109 --> 00:29:41,346 But think, He taught on these things. 609 00:29:41,346 --> 00:29:43,996 He taught parables. 610 00:29:43,996 --> 00:29:46,547 He gave teachings that hit us 611 00:29:46,547 --> 00:29:48,439 right where we live. 612 00:29:48,439 --> 00:29:50,151 If anybody was practical, 613 00:29:50,151 --> 00:29:52,524 the Lord Jesus Christ was. 614 00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:55,002 And for us to not harbor resentment 615 00:29:55,002 --> 00:29:56,642 and bitterness and anger towards 616 00:29:56,642 --> 00:29:59,013 other people - what better reason, 617 00:29:59,013 --> 00:30:00,878 if you're a Christian, 618 00:30:00,878 --> 00:30:04,483 than how can I ever do that? 619 00:30:04,483 --> 00:30:08,628 After what I was and what I did 620 00:30:08,628 --> 00:30:12,068 and what He's forgiven me for? 621 00:30:12,068 --> 00:30:19,686 There's no place to hold anything. 622 00:30:19,686 --> 00:30:21,706 Did you have any other thoughts on it? 623 00:30:21,706 --> 00:30:22,535 (from the room) 624 00:30:22,535 --> 00:30:24,051 I had another thought. 625 00:30:24,051 --> 00:30:26,387 We were talking about counting the cost 626 00:30:26,387 --> 00:30:28,540 and the potential consequences. 627 00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:32,011 In Numbers 20, when Moses struck the rock, 628 00:30:32,011 --> 00:30:34,706 (unintelligible). 629 00:30:34,706 --> 00:30:37,449 There was a great cost to that. 630 00:30:37,449 --> 00:30:40,787 Tim: And he couldn't go into the Promised Land. 631 00:30:40,787 --> 00:30:42,140 (from the room) 632 00:30:42,140 --> 00:30:46,078 Sometimes you know that He's testing you too. 633 00:30:46,078 --> 00:30:48,564 Like certain days it will be like 634 00:30:48,564 --> 00:30:50,866 every 30 minutes or so, 635 00:30:50,866 --> 00:30:53,080 in my life I've seen it happen, 636 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,481 at like 30 minutes or an hour, 637 00:30:55,481 --> 00:30:57,976 something just keeps coming up to test me, 638 00:30:57,976 --> 00:30:58,806 and I know it. 639 00:30:58,806 --> 00:31:00,400 And after awhile, I'm just like, 640 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,311 ok, I know You're testing me, God. 641 00:31:02,311 --> 00:31:04,517 And I just kind of laugh to myself. 642 00:31:04,517 --> 00:31:07,095 Ok, this is going to be one of those testing days. 643 00:31:07,095 --> 00:31:10,091 And I just have to remind myself (unintelligible). 644 00:31:10,091 --> 00:31:14,520 Tim: Maybe before we move on, 645 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:19,027 think about your life. 646 00:31:19,027 --> 00:31:23,587 What tends to test your patience? 647 00:31:23,587 --> 00:31:31,819 What tends to provoke anger in you? 648 00:31:31,819 --> 00:31:39,573 That thing that most likely irritates you 649 00:31:39,573 --> 00:31:43,027 and agitates you and causes you to lose it 650 00:31:43,027 --> 00:31:47,063 if you do - what are the things? 651 00:31:47,063 --> 00:31:48,051 (from the room) 652 00:31:48,051 --> 00:31:49,625 Traffic. 653 00:31:49,625 --> 00:31:52,118 Tim: See, that's the one I was thinking of. 654 00:31:52,118 --> 00:31:55,230 I was down in Monterey, 655 00:31:55,230 --> 00:31:56,885 and I was with Alberto. 656 00:31:56,885 --> 00:31:58,289 And I wasn't even driving 657 00:31:58,289 --> 00:32:00,914 and we had no place to go quick, 658 00:32:00,914 --> 00:32:03,267 but we were on an Interstate, 659 00:32:03,267 --> 00:32:05,849 and the traffic was just stopped. 660 00:32:05,849 --> 00:32:09,207 It was at a dead stop for a long time 661 00:32:09,207 --> 00:32:11,430 not moving anywhere. 662 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:13,701 And I start to get this feeling, 663 00:32:13,701 --> 00:32:18,746 almost like I want to get out and walk or something, 664 00:32:18,746 --> 00:32:20,903 because it goes faster. 665 00:32:20,903 --> 00:32:28,133 Yeah, it's traffic sometimes. 666 00:32:28,133 --> 00:32:34,033 I don't know. I just had that feeling then. 667 00:32:34,033 --> 00:32:37,055 I guess I remember having it in Houston 668 00:32:37,055 --> 00:32:39,618 one time we were stuck in traffic 669 00:32:39,618 --> 00:32:44,436 heading somewhere East. 670 00:32:44,436 --> 00:32:46,125 Is there anything else? 671 00:32:46,125 --> 00:32:47,355 (from the room) 672 00:32:47,355 --> 00:32:50,594 I think ultimately it's just not getting our way. 673 00:32:50,594 --> 00:32:53,705 When we get irritated about certain things 674 00:32:53,705 --> 00:32:55,427 we want it a certain way 675 00:32:55,427 --> 00:32:57,268 and it just doesn't happen. 676 00:32:57,268 --> 00:32:59,672 Tim: That is the root of anger. 677 00:32:59,672 --> 00:33:01,896 We don't get our way.