1 00:00:07,673 --> 00:00:11,996 Ok, here's the second question. This comes from Mariah. 2 00:00:11,996 --> 00:00:16,836 Now, look, some of these you say, 3 00:00:16,836 --> 00:00:21,466 "really? I mean, isn't the answer obvious?" 4 00:00:21,466 --> 00:00:24,202 But you'd be amazed pastorally 5 00:00:24,202 --> 00:00:27,202 how often we have to deal with questions 6 00:00:27,202 --> 00:00:32,113 that might seem obvious. 7 00:00:32,113 --> 00:00:37,240 Mariah: "Is it ok for married brothers..." 8 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:41,340 (so we've got married Christans, men) 9 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:46,957 "In leadership positions - pastors, elders, deacons, etc. - 10 00:00:46,957 --> 00:00:54,845 to casually text or email single sisters? 11 00:00:54,845 --> 00:00:58,575 Why or why not? Are there any exceptions?" 12 00:00:58,575 --> 00:01:01,352 I'm not sure why Mariah would ask this, but... 13 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:09,206 I can imagine if a young lady, newly saved, in a church, 14 00:01:09,206 --> 00:01:11,746 she hears that some of her friends are 15 00:01:11,746 --> 00:01:20,372 receiving casual texts from church officers who are married. 16 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:26,158 Is that reason for alarm? For concern? You raise your eyebrows? 17 00:01:26,158 --> 00:01:37,062 If it was happening in this church would it just be normal, normative, ok? 18 00:01:37,062 --> 00:01:40,189 I mean, you know what came to my mind, 19 00:01:40,189 --> 00:01:43,859 is she ought to go ask those men's wives. 20 00:01:43,859 --> 00:01:47,748 Right? I mean, ladies, come on. 21 00:01:47,748 --> 00:01:50,748 I think most of the ladies in here are single. 22 00:01:50,748 --> 00:01:55,993 But ladies if you were married to a church officer and your husband... 23 00:01:55,993 --> 00:02:04,048 now did you notice the adjective? "Casually texting." 24 00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:10,391 I text with certain sisters in the church - not casually - 25 00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:15,571 because it's easier than a phone call. 26 00:02:15,571 --> 00:02:20,915 But casually, ladies, would you be ok with that? 27 00:02:20,915 --> 00:02:25,005 Or would you say there's exceptions. 28 00:02:25,005 --> 00:02:27,639 There would be times it would be ok. 29 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:31,812 But just to find out, if you found your husband's phone... 30 00:02:31,812 --> 00:02:33,724 maybe getting ready to do laundry, 31 00:02:33,724 --> 00:02:35,994 empty his pockets, hey, there's his phone, 32 00:02:35,994 --> 00:02:38,969 and you see, well, he's texting single sisters 33 00:02:38,969 --> 00:02:42,289 in the church casually. Are you ok with that? 34 00:02:42,289 --> 00:02:47,199 Grace, you ok with that? 35 00:02:47,199 --> 00:02:53,891 Or does it depend? 36 00:02:53,891 --> 00:02:59,200 Is everybody ok with it? 37 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:05,583 (in the background, "No!") 38 00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:09,354 Emotional attachment? Is there a text in the Bible that says, 39 00:03:09,354 --> 00:03:13,457 "Thou shalt not text single women." 40 00:03:13,457 --> 00:03:15,457 Of course not. 41 00:03:15,457 --> 00:03:23,619 (in background) How would she feel if she was married 42 00:03:23,619 --> 00:03:26,619 and someone was doing that? 43 00:03:26,619 --> 00:03:34,379 Tim: Right. That would be very appropriate to put that back in her lap. 44 00:03:34,379 --> 00:03:37,598 But she doesn't say if she's single or not. So I don't know - 45 00:03:37,598 --> 00:03:43,292 she may actually be the wife of one of the guys, I'm not sure. 46 00:03:43,292 --> 00:03:46,498 There's not enough detail there for me to know. 47 00:03:46,498 --> 00:03:50,345 But we know this, just a couple texts: 48 00:03:50,345 --> 00:03:55,947 Matthew 15:19, "Out of the heart comes evil thoughts, murder, adultery, 49 00:03:55,947 --> 00:03:59,966 sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 50 00:03:59,966 --> 00:04:02,966 These are what defile a person." 51 00:04:02,966 --> 00:04:10,377 Or if you think of 1 Cor 6:18, "Flee from sexual immorality." 52 00:04:10,377 --> 00:04:16,429 Here's a thing, let's just think about this, 53 00:04:16,429 --> 00:04:27,193 Men in ministry fall all the time. All the time. 54 00:04:27,193 --> 00:04:29,432 It happens a lot. 55 00:04:29,432 --> 00:04:34,252 Single, young ladies are vulnerable. 56 00:04:34,252 --> 00:04:43,332 And the thing is are we really ignorant as to how infidelity happens? 57 00:04:43,332 --> 00:04:51,366 We're not. It's like James is talking about. 58 00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:59,664 There are the guys that they prey on women. 59 00:04:59,664 --> 00:05:03,464 They get in places of power and they prey on them. 60 00:05:03,464 --> 00:05:11,644 Their idea right up front is - there's no restraint. 61 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,750 But I have a feeling that a lot of the men that fall, 62 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:18,750 they never thought they would. 63 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:25,330 They did not start out intending to. 64 00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:28,330 How does infidelity happen when at first there is no intention to it? 65 00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:31,239 It doesn't happen like that. 66 00:05:31,239 --> 00:05:34,979 It happens by staging, by degrees, by steps. 67 00:05:34,979 --> 00:05:38,870 And what happens? Well, sexual immorality is a matter of the heart. 68 00:05:38,870 --> 00:05:45,262 What happens is the heart gets involved, the affections, the emotions. 69 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:48,441 And how does it happen? Well, through communication. 70 00:05:48,441 --> 00:05:51,831 Certainly through communication. 71 00:05:51,831 --> 00:05:55,069 And what happens is that there's 72 00:05:55,069 --> 00:05:58,869 communication that goes back and forth. 73 00:05:58,869 --> 00:06:04,646 And we're not ignorant about this. 74 00:06:04,646 --> 00:06:10,278 And the thing is if you're in ministry, 75 00:06:10,278 --> 00:06:13,278 you're especially going to be a target of the devil, 76 00:06:13,278 --> 00:06:20,391 and it's just... casual - that's the thing. 77 00:06:20,391 --> 00:06:26,221 It's dangerous. It's dangerous. 78 00:06:26,221 --> 00:06:31,246 And it's private. You end up having private communication 79 00:06:31,246 --> 00:06:33,926 with a woman who's not your wife 80 00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:35,840 when you do have a wife, 81 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:38,840 and that's exactly the kind of communication where 82 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:43,293 suddenly the hook goes in the heart. 83 00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:45,778 It's just that kind of communication. 84 00:06:45,778 --> 00:06:48,778 I'm not saying that it always leads to that. 85 00:06:48,778 --> 00:06:51,029 But certainly the men that fall, 86 00:06:51,029 --> 00:06:54,029 they were certainly doing things just like this. 87 00:06:54,029 --> 00:06:58,441 And if we're supposed to flee from this, 88 00:06:58,441 --> 00:07:01,441 we need to run from it like you'd run from 89 00:07:01,441 --> 00:07:06,624 Catholicism like the plague, you need to run from these kind of things. 90 00:07:06,624 --> 00:07:08,529 We need to be very careful. 91 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:11,529 Because the moment we get presumptuous and say, 92 00:07:11,529 --> 00:07:15,338 "Well, I can play with that fire and it's not going to burn me," 93 00:07:15,338 --> 00:07:17,244 that's the second God - 94 00:07:17,244 --> 00:07:21,424 you may even be a true child of God, and God may 95 00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:26,646 allow you, like David, to fall flat on your face, 96 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:29,539 and it can just destroy your life, your marriage, 97 00:07:29,539 --> 00:07:33,230 your family, your ministry for sure.