Title: Biblical Counsel to Walk in Sexual Purity Meta: To walk in purity, the believer must not just focus on guarding themselves from the sin; but they must be actively pursuing Christ and being satisfied in Him. Question: As you counsel people on the topic of sexual purity, what advice do you find yourself giving time and time again to help believers walk in purity? Tags: sexual purity, counsel, bible, lust, 1 00:00:00,562 --> 00:00:03,416 As you counsel people on the topic of sexual purity, 2 00:00:03,416 --> 00:00:05,376 what advice do you find yourself giving 3 00:00:05,376 --> 00:00:07,275 time and time again to help believers 4 00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:09,030 walk in purity? 5 00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:10,908 Jesse: One of the areas I begin with 6 00:00:10,908 --> 00:00:12,842 in talking about sexual purity 7 00:00:12,842 --> 00:00:16,294 is in the area of understanding 8 00:00:16,294 --> 00:00:19,553 the depth of the gospel 9 00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,645 and the blood of Christ to forgive 10 00:00:21,645 --> 00:00:24,847 even in the area of sexual impurity. 11 00:00:24,847 --> 00:00:27,158 So often, I see so many people 12 00:00:27,158 --> 00:00:29,868 who struggle in this area 13 00:00:29,868 --> 00:00:31,132 and are convinced - 14 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:33,160 I cannot come back to God; 15 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,938 I can't come back to Christ 16 00:00:34,938 --> 00:00:38,267 because I've done this this many times. 17 00:00:38,267 --> 00:00:42,017 And often, I'll bring them to David's psalm of confession. 18 00:00:42,017 --> 00:00:43,758 In verse 1, David says, 19 00:00:43,758 --> 00:00:46,840 "Have mercy on me, O God, 20 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,986 according to Your steadfast love." 21 00:00:49,986 --> 00:00:52,380 And I'll just sit there with people sometimes 22 00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:54,979 and go over that again and again. 23 00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:57,735 You have to believe that God is able to forgive, 24 00:00:57,735 --> 00:01:00,888 but you have to believe that He's willing to forgive. 25 00:01:00,888 --> 00:01:02,636 And we have to remember the basis 26 00:01:02,636 --> 00:01:04,364 of His forgiveness. 27 00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,547 It is not our performance. 28 00:01:06,547 --> 00:01:08,749 So when a brother or a sister struggle 29 00:01:08,749 --> 00:01:10,858 in the area of sexual purity, 30 00:01:10,858 --> 00:01:14,615 so often I see them trying to earn their way 31 00:01:14,615 --> 00:01:17,924 back into a right standing with God. 32 00:01:17,924 --> 00:01:20,749 Whether it's: I've got to be more committed next time. 33 00:01:20,749 --> 00:01:24,427 Or, my repentance needs to be more perfect. 34 00:01:24,427 --> 00:01:27,235 And I remind them you have to understand 35 00:01:27,235 --> 00:01:31,179 the basis of God's mercy is His love. 36 00:01:31,179 --> 00:01:35,343 And the basis of God's love is not performance. 37 00:01:35,343 --> 00:01:37,281 And I'm not saying God's indifferent 38 00:01:37,281 --> 00:01:38,341 to our repentance 39 00:01:38,341 --> 00:01:41,832 or continuing in sin that grace may abound. 40 00:01:41,832 --> 00:01:43,742 But I see men and women 41 00:01:43,742 --> 00:01:46,930 that have genuine marks of conversion 42 00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:49,342 struggle in this area. 43 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,403 And when they do sin, 44 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:55,240 we'll spend sometimes days or weeks 45 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:59,503 laying around, if you will, in the guilt of the sin. 46 00:01:59,503 --> 00:02:01,514 There needs to be an urgency 47 00:02:01,514 --> 00:02:03,706 of coming back to God 48 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:06,701 believing that in Christ, if they confess their sins, 49 00:02:06,701 --> 00:02:08,616 He's faithful and just to forgive them 50 00:02:08,616 --> 00:02:12,493 and cleanse them from all unrighteousness. 51 00:02:12,493 --> 00:02:15,588 In regards to proactively here - 52 00:02:15,588 --> 00:02:18,118 I think there's a proactive and a reactive sense 53 00:02:18,118 --> 00:02:20,711 of how we guard against sexual impurity. 54 00:02:20,711 --> 00:02:25,030 I think of the verse "Flee youthful lust." 55 00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:26,934 So, I'll say to the men sometimes, 56 00:02:26,934 --> 00:02:28,818 "Hey, flee youthful lusts. 57 00:02:28,818 --> 00:02:31,876 There's one way you can guard against sexual impurity. 58 00:02:31,876 --> 00:02:34,024 And they'll say, "Amen. Flee youthful lust." 59 00:02:34,024 --> 00:02:37,156 But I'll say, "What's the rest of the verse?" 60 00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:39,063 In fact, we were in a men's meeting once 61 00:02:39,063 --> 00:02:40,833 on the topic of sexual purity, 62 00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:44,105 and I stood up and I said, "Flee youthful lusts." 63 00:02:44,105 --> 00:02:45,461 And they all said, "Amen!" 64 00:02:45,461 --> 00:02:48,909 And I say, "Men, what's the second half of the verse?" 65 00:02:48,909 --> 00:02:50,193 Pursue. 66 00:02:50,193 --> 00:02:52,162 In other words, there is a putting off. 67 00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:54,152 There is a guarding of the heart 68 00:02:54,152 --> 00:02:55,400 where we do flee. 69 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,506 We obey Proverbs 7. 70 00:02:57,506 --> 00:02:59,223 We don't go on the corner. 71 00:02:59,223 --> 00:03:01,546 We don't tempt ourselves to be tempted. 72 00:03:01,546 --> 00:03:02,623 We guard those things. 73 00:03:02,623 --> 00:03:03,906 We run from those things. 74 00:03:03,906 --> 00:03:06,135 But there's the other side of the battle 75 00:03:06,135 --> 00:03:07,921 against sexual impurity, 76 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,945 which is the pursuing. 77 00:03:09,945 --> 00:03:13,936 It is looking. It is the putting on of Christ. 78 00:03:13,936 --> 00:03:16,725 Inevitably, James, what I find 79 00:03:16,725 --> 00:03:18,706 in these areas when people have given in 80 00:03:18,706 --> 00:03:20,459 to sexual temptation, 81 00:03:20,459 --> 00:03:22,629 is that they've stopped nurturing 82 00:03:22,629 --> 00:03:24,465 and nourishing their soul; 83 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,991 the guarding of their heart; 84 00:03:25,991 --> 00:03:28,474 the reading of the Word; the meditation of the Word. 85 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:30,391 As the old saying goes, 86 00:03:30,391 --> 00:03:34,517 the Word keeps you from sin, and sin keeps you from the Word. 87 00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:38,306 And the majority of time I find is 88 00:03:38,306 --> 00:03:39,983 they're trying to practice 89 00:03:39,983 --> 00:03:41,412 the guarding of things, 90 00:03:41,412 --> 00:03:43,861 but they're not fulfilling the pursuing 91 00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:46,227 of righteousness, love, and Christ. 92 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:49,277 And if your heart is not satisfied 93 00:03:49,277 --> 00:03:51,767 in treasuring and savoring Jesus Christ, 94 00:03:51,767 --> 00:03:54,545 it will look somewhere else to worship. 95 00:03:54,545 --> 00:03:57,696 So it's not just putting off; it's putting on. 96 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,724 Question: When someone comes to you, 97 00:03:59,724 --> 00:04:00,961 how do you discern, 98 00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:03,215 is this a true Christian who's struggling 99 00:04:03,215 --> 00:04:04,965 or is this someone who is lost? 100 00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:08,268 Or how necessary is it to even discern that? 101 00:04:08,268 --> 00:04:10,745 Jesse: I look where their struggle is 102 00:04:10,745 --> 00:04:12,776 regarding their sin. 103 00:04:12,776 --> 00:04:16,009 In other words, is it a godly sorrow? 104 00:04:16,009 --> 00:04:18,291 Remember Paul in Corinthians speaks about 105 00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:21,131 a worldly sorrow versus a godly sorrow. 106 00:04:21,131 --> 00:04:22,668 The worldly sorrow - 107 00:04:22,668 --> 00:04:25,136 you can take an atheist who's caught 108 00:04:25,136 --> 00:04:27,074 with pornography. 109 00:04:27,074 --> 00:04:29,036 There's embarrassment. There's shame. 110 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:29,964 There's guilt. 111 00:04:29,964 --> 00:04:32,309 What is my wife going to say? What are my kids going to say? 112 00:04:32,309 --> 00:04:34,227 What are my co-workers going to think? 113 00:04:34,227 --> 00:04:36,606 Well, that's not godly sorrow. 114 00:04:36,606 --> 00:04:38,065 Now the genuine Christian 115 00:04:38,065 --> 00:04:40,045 will think those same thoughts, 116 00:04:40,045 --> 00:04:43,459 but they will have a Godward sorrow 117 00:04:43,459 --> 00:04:45,463 regarding their sin. 118 00:04:45,463 --> 00:04:47,304 And so I'm looking at where is 119 00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:49,704 the sorrow for sin? 120 00:04:49,704 --> 00:04:52,495 Is it merely for the embarrassment 121 00:04:52,495 --> 00:04:54,102 of what they've just done? 122 00:04:54,102 --> 00:04:55,820 Or is it a Godward - 123 00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:58,599 "Against You and You only have I sinned, O God, 124 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,989 and done what is evil in Your sight." 125 00:05:00,989 --> 00:05:04,475 And so I think regeneration produces 126 00:05:04,475 --> 00:05:06,827 a love for God, a reverence for God, 127 00:05:06,827 --> 00:05:09,521 an affection for God and His glory. 128 00:05:09,521 --> 00:05:12,920 And so when we sin, we are sorrowful 129 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,649 not only for what we have done 130 00:05:14,649 --> 00:05:16,291 and how we'll look before others, 131 00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:18,591 but we're sorrowful for what we've done to God; 132 00:05:18,591 --> 00:05:20,109 the robbing of His glory, 133 00:05:20,109 --> 00:05:21,844 and against Him have we sinned. 134 00:05:21,844 --> 00:05:23,152 So that's an indicator. 135 00:05:23,152 --> 00:05:28,088 Where the trajectory of their sin and their sorrow? 136 00:05:28,088 --> 00:05:31,118 To view more resources on overcoming sexual sin 137 00:05:31,118 --> 00:05:33,022 visit illbehonest.com, 138 00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:36,532 go to Topics and select "sexual sin."